Why am I such a bad child? I had a really rough night tonight. So you know how I went to Comicon with a couple of my friends right...well I couldn't take any pictures because my phone died. My mom got really mad with me, really really mad. I just can't take this anymore..
After my friend left my house, things started to go downhill. I came home from walking my dog, and went to my room to write another chapter of Broken Rose. My dad wanted me to come out in the living room, this means he wants to yell at me for something. Of course, my natural instinct was to say "No, not right now. I'm writing my story." Which of course, was the truth. He didn't believe me and my mom rushed into my room.
This is where is goes downhill. She screams, "You really don't love your family don't you!? It's always your friends who come first!" She started throwing things and threw my new horror book across my room. I started to cry, because it hurts. This usually happens at least once a month, my parents would take all of their rage and throw it on me.
I sat in the living room waiting for an explanation with tears going down my eyes. The tears wouldn't stop because I felt so much pressure. My mind and body can't deal with pressure. It makes a lot of tears. I felt myself choking. I was coughing and coughing until I couldn't breathe. I screamed, "MOM! PLEASE HELP ME, I'M CHOKING. PLEASE HELP ME!" She didn't respond, because when she's angry, she doesn't care about anything. My dad had to help me or else I would've passed out. "Why? WHY? WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME!" I screamed.
"This is all your fault Angelica." was her response. While I was choking for air and one though that ran through my head was, "If I die right now, I'm sorry. I will always love you even though you yell at me. I'm sorry for everything." I felt the air out of my body disappear. All I heard then was insults. "Your daughter always causes drama, I can't believe you believed that fake act." my mom said. "That's your daughter! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!" my dad screamed. He was so angry. He said, "I am not coming home tomorrow because this is getting annoying."
I didn't have any emotion. I felt like my whole soul was gone. All I remember was, a lot of tears. I didn't want to live. I wanted to sleep, and never wake up. After everything calmed down, I took a shower and I just kept crying. I was scared and wondered why I was still alive. Hearing that you were a disappointment to your family and to everyone kind of broke my insanity. I love my parents do not get me wrong, but sometimes, I wanted to run away. I wanted to run as fast as I can. My parents then acted like nothing happened.
While watching TV, my mom said, "I'm sorry Angelica, I didn't mean to. When I get angry, I don't mean what I say." Life cannot be solved by "I'm sorry." My mom taught me this, then she did it anyway. I've been having depressing rants at the moment, I'm sorry for that. Life is difficult for me right now.
I hope you guys had a good Monday today. Have sweet dreams, and somebody loves you. :)
-angelica ;/
