Sweet Disposition

Six. (The beginning of the end.)

It's late morning around 9am, I am still lying in bed. Arlett lays beside me she places her face against mine holding a cup of coffee, and I am still half asleep, eyes are still closed. She kisses my cheeks down to the back of my jawline. "You don't tell me things, Nathan"

"I'm an open book, I tell you everything, every single damn embarrassing things. You don't trust me" She said. As she looks at me and places her head against my chest

"Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating." I kissed her forehead.

"I don't do that. I don't constantly talk! Jesus! People have to share things, Nathan."

"mhm..."

"That's what intimacy is. I want to have a baby. Like Harris' baby."

"Let's talk about that later."

"No, I want to have a baby."

"I don't think we're ready." I look at her.

She looks away "You're not ready."

"Arlett, do you really think we can really take care of a kid?"

"Devils, What?!"

"Let's not talk about it."

"I can never the fuck understand what you're saying, you can never say anything like that! And say you don't want to talk about it!"

"I'm sorry, Arlett."

"I'd make a fucking good mother, I'm creative and smart and, I'd make a fucking good mother!"

"It's you Nathan! It's you who can't commit to anything! You don't have an idea how lucky you are I'm interested in you! I'm so pissed that you've said that!"

"I'm sorry." I turned to her and kisses her shoulders, she sips in the cup of her coffee and she turns away and gone outside.

Dinner at some cheap restaurant again, Are we like those poor couples you feel sorry for in a restaurant? Are we the dining dead? I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.

The next day, I was lying in the couch and reading some Bartlett, Arlett is cooking meatloaf, she hums a song "Let's get rich and buy our parents" She dances. "Baby, I'm trying to read here." "Oh, okay. I'm sorry." She stops and continues to cook.

Night time before bed, we're brushing teeth together it was silent but she stares at me, she finished brushing her teeth first, she get to bed. After I finished brushing mine, I followed her. She's sitting in the chair Henry gave her, staring at the window, looking at nowhere. "Arlett?" I asked and come close to her. "you read your stupid book all weekend, Mom and Henry were trying so hard."

"I'm sorry." She faces me. "You don't have any friends."

"I have you. I don't need anyone else." "That's a lot of pressure." She said. "I'm so lonely" she places her hands on her chin.

"No, don't say that. Please." I hugged her. She wipes her tears. "What do we do? How can we make this better?" I asked and let her out of my arms.

"You're writing when we first met right? Maybe you should continue your writing." She said. "Okay."

"And I'm gonna take an art class."

"And art class? That's great yeah, get out of the house." She looks at me. "And maybe I should spend some nights back at my apartment. As an experiment."

"Okay." I said to her. That night she packed her things and she gone to her apartment.

I can't sleep that night, Poseidon is the one sleeping right next to me. I look at the clock and it's already 4:45am and I didn't get any sleep I hugged Poseidon and cried. When the sun came up I took seat outside of my apartment, front of the door, I crumple on my knees, I waited for Arlett to come back. "Hi, Poseidon!" She greets him Poseidon runs after her. I look at her. "How's your night?" She asked. "Terrible."

"I'm sorry." She said. "I don't think this experiment is gonna work for me." I stand up. "Look, there has to be a space in a relationship. Otherwise we're gonna be just like the same person. It's only one night a week, I think you can handle it." She runs to the bathroom "I'm gonna shower."

The next day, Arlett finds an art class she said, that the people there are full of grown ups, but the talents are very high, she said she's gonna learn a lot from there. Weeks past and the both of us continued the manner of giving space to each other. One night I cooked for dinner. I am making some pasta, and bought some cotton candy and ice cream, she loves sweets. The phone rings I picked it up "Hello?" It's Arlett over the phone. "Hi, Where are you?" I asked.

"Uh, A bunch of people decided to hang out at the bar near Art school. I decided to come with them."

"Okay, When are you gonna get home? I cooked."

"Uhm no, we already ordered here. So I think we're gonna eat here. And we're drinking I'm gonna be late and your house is kind of far from here. So I can't make it tonight to your house." I was stunned for a minute I don't know what to say next, I was frustrated and sad. "Nathan?" "oh, uhm yeah, So, Have fun then."

3:19am still no sleep. Even Poseidon is not sleeping beside me, I hugged her pillow trying to caught a hint of her smell. I opened the lights and started writing again. I wrote how I wish the things have turned out. I typed in Arlett is miserable without Nathan. The Phone rings, I heard Arlett crying over the phone, "I want to come home."

We lay in the bed naked she's on top of me, I moved to pee, and she doesn't let me go. I caressed her cheeks, Breakfast. We're sharing the same bowl of oatmeal I am reading a newspaper, she holds my other hand and she looks at me, "I miss you already" and she starts crying. We decided to go to the movies. In the car she's hugging me, and leaning into my shoulder. While in line to the tickets she still clings to me. During the movie, I accidentally let her hand go because I want to get some popcorn, Arlett hugged me, and she sobs "You let go of my hand" "I'm sorry I had to get some popcorn." You let go of my hand" she continues sobbing. I took her home, she crumples to the bed she holds my hands and I hugged her. "Never let go of my hand, again." I kissed her back, "Let me get you some water." "No." she continuously cries. We visited Harris' house. Maybe having someone around might make her feel better. Me and Harris, talked while Arlett and Sophia is taking care of the baby.

"I thought she'll be gone." I said to Harris. "I just want her to be happy, so I write again."

"Really? That's good. About what?" "No I mean, I write again." I pointed to Arlett.

"Oh, Sophia left once." He said. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yeah she did. But she came back. But I am still thinking of it. I could lose her any moment."

When we got home, things went back to normal. Arlett is Arlett. Happy or sad whatever she feels.

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