Seizing my guts

Separated

Oswald throws one last assertive glance at Ed and turns. He makes his way back to the other side of his cage. How is he supposed to kill this man when he'll be talking the whole time they're in there?

That can be my motivation, Oswald thinks. His dumb-ass remarks, and talking about Isabelle, how I should be dead and-

"Is... Is that really you?" Ed asks. "Or is this just another... No, I threw away the pills." Oswald furrows his eyebrow in perplexity- pills?

"No, yeah, you must be..." Ed gives a long sigh and slides down to his knees.

"Must be what, exactly?" Oswald spits out. Ed looks up with mystification, acknowledging this very real presence of Oswald. He clears his throat.

"A- uh, a hallucination. You have to be one, because you're dead, but you can't be because I threw away the pills-"

"Nygma, I can assure you that I am very alive. In fact, I'm more alive than I've felt in a long time. Want to know why?" -he doesn't wait for an answer- "Because I have somebody I want to kill! Unfortunately, he's in the room and we are separated by cage bars, so choking the life out of him is a bit of a hassle right now."

Ed gulps as Oswald turns to face him again, still far away from the middle point where the cages meet.

"I think you know why I want to kill this person, is that right?"

Ed struggles to choke up a response. "Because I attempted to kill you. Because you killed Isabella. Because-"

"There are no more reasons, Edward! Don't even finish that sentence. You're correct- you shot me in the stomach for killing some idiot that you knew for less than a week, and threw me over the docks. So I'm repaying you. Except, you won't survive."

A long silence falls between the two.
Ed is the first one to speak again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so unbelievably-"

"Sorry? I nearly died, and you're sorry? You broke me in all ways, and you say you're sorry. Okay, Ed. I'll tell you one thing, though- I'm not sorry. And I don't accept your apology. Shove off."

Ed continues. "I know that my actions are unforgivable. But I beg you to please believe me when I say that I've missed you. So much. I can't live without you."

"Then I guess it's a good thing you'll be dead soon." Oswald hopes that the dim lights cover his flushed face as he walks back to the split center.

They're right next to each other, separated only by the metal that also binds them here in this imprisonment. Ed takes a hesitant step forward and leans against the bars to be closer to Oswald, who makes a fist.

"You're not making a smart decision by standing here and manipulating me."

"Manipulating you?"

"You just want help getting out of this hell-hole, and nothing more. You never cared about me." Oswald's mouth shrinks up in emotional pain, knowing that he can never be loved.

"That's not true, Oswald. It's not. Sure, I wanna get out of here, and your help would be appreciated, but what I want more than that... Is you. Your hugs. Your smile, maybe? Your forgiveness..."

Oswald's cheeks burn a bright red, but he tries his best to keep an angry face.

Ed slowly puts his arm through the space, wanting to brush against Oswald's arm, perhaps.

The moment escalates. Tears well up in Oswald's eyes and he punches Edward's arm back. The impact of hard metal on his arm makes Ed wince audibly, and this doesn't enlighten the situation. Oswald drops to his knees in desperation.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Oswald asks.

"Trying to talk to you?"

"Leading me on like this. If we converse, you'll just hurt me in time- again."

"Oswald, I promise I'm not trying to do that. I'll never hurt you. Never... again. I've been so lost without you with me. Please, I'm begging you to just talk to me!" His voice breaks. He starts crying in a fit of regretful sobs.

From the floor, Oswald looks up to see tears streaming down Ed's face. Their eyes meet, both glossed with liquid pain.

Edward takes a breath and unhurriedly collapses to the ground in attempt to be close to his other. He wipes the tears from his face, as does Oswald. They both lean their sides on a single rod.

"Oswald?"

"What?"

"Can I hold your hand?"

Oswald's neck turns to face Ed, faces close enough to feel each other's breath. This is the reaction Edward was hoping for. He quickly shoves his hand against the back of Oswald's neck. Pulling him forward, Ed smashes his lips against Oswald's.

Ed can feel Oswald tense up harshly in surprise, but that doesn't restrain him from kissing the man. His other hand slides through to stroke Oswald's cheek.

Oswald tells himself to pull away, that this is wrong, that he hates Ed for what he did to him... But none of these thoughts sink in. He's so caught up in this wonderful feeling. Manipulation? Maybe. Whatever. He doesn't care right now. He finds himself kissing Edward back as if there's nothing to lose. Simply because there isn't.

The warm sensation floods the two with feelings they didn't even know existed. By this time, Isabella is a forgotten dream. The fact that she was real is a distant and blurred memory to Ed. All he cares about at the moment is Oswald- a beautiful, unappreciated man who has never had someone to fully count on.

There was a time when Ed thought he was that person, someone that Oswald could count on-

I hope you know, Oswald... I would do anything for you. You can always  count on me.

-but he'd shot and dumped him into a river.

The whole Isabella-dilemma was all just an act of love, right? It may have been a selfish and hurtful action, but he had only the best intentions for Ed. After all, Ed had done the same thing for Kristen- who he killed. Oswald wouldn't actually kill Ed, though. They need each other.

Oswald grabs the bar firmly and snakes his other hand around Edward's head. His cheeks sting, and he can feel Ed losing air.

The smaller man pulls apart slowly, takes his hands back, and looks down at his knees.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" Ed asks with a grin.

"Is that all you were trying to accomplish by forcing me into that?"

"Forcing? I think you liked it." Oswald's mouth twitches, threatening a smile. Ed continues. "I, for one, loved it."

This gets Oswald's attention. He's not hiding his smile now, and looking at Edward, he questions, "Did you really?"

"I did." Ed reached his hand out, and this time Oswald takes it. They sit against the rails, hand in hand, painted in lovely silence.