Second Chances

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"What's the matter, Carter?" Casey put her hand on his arm and felt him flinch. "Did I say......something during my nightmare?"

Carter nodded and then she saw the hint of tears in his eyes. He took a deep breath. "Casey.......who's Sonny?"

{Dummit. This isn't at all good. What's that old saying? Two steps forward and a dozen steps back?}

"What......" Casey swallowed hard and then took a deep breath of her own. "What did I say about Sonny?"

"Not much." Carter's words were clipped and cold. "Who is he, Casey?"

"WAS, Carter. He WAS someone in my past." Casey snorted softly as she plucked at some imaginary lint on the sheet. "It almost seems like a lifetime ago that I knew him." {If you only knew how true that really was.} Carter still looked upset and Casey reached out to touch his arm. "Sonny was bad news, Carter. He's not a part of my life anym......"

Carter pulled his arm away abruptly. "He didn't sound like bad news the way you were crying for him, Casey." He got up from the bed, snatching his blue silk robe from a chair. When he put it on, he tied the belt so vigorously Casey thought it would cut him in half. He walked about ten feet away from the bed and then turned back with his hands on his hips. "You were begging him not to leave you, Casey."

{That must have been the time Sonny got mad when I found those papers in his desk. The ones about the money.....and Benny. Sonny told me it was over between us and that he never wanted to see me again. I never should have apologized and tried so hard to patch things up between us.}

Casey swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her own robe. "A lot of things happened between Sonny and me, Carter," she explained, trying to keep her voice calm. "Let's just say that I know more about him now than I did then." She walked towards him slowly. "As it turns out, Sonny leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Carter backed away from her. "So he's some guy from your past?"

"*Yes*, Carter," she replied gently. "I said that before." She ran her fingers through her hair to push it back off her face. "It may be true that I don't remember a lot, but I'm sure that sh.......that I wasn't a virgin when you and I first got together. You can't possibly be jealous of every man I ever knew before I met you."

Carter sighed and then turned away from her. "It's just all so confusing, Casey." He turned back and she saw the faint glint of tears again. "You say you don't remember the past, but these things keep popping up. The dog, the step-sister, now a long-lost lover......" He finally moved a little towards her but didn't touch her. "Can't you see how hard this is for me? How can I really believe that you're not remembering *everything* and just stringing me along?"

Casey saw the pain in his eyes and remembered what he told her the night before. How he had finally felt secure enough to let her in. She knew that for a powerful man like Carter to allow himself to be vulnerable was no easy feat. Chewing on her lower lip, she turned away from him.

{OK, God – I'm going to need help on this one again. YOU were the one who wanted us together, and I don't think You would let that all slip away too easily. So if You could help me say the right thing here and give my strategy a little nudge in the right direction in Carter's mind, it would be SOOO awesome.....}

"Casey?" Carter came closer to her but Casey still didn't turn back towards him. "Did you hear what I said?"

She nodded and took a shaky breath. "Yes, Carter. I heard every word." She slowly revolved to face him. "And I think you're right."

Carter looked like somebody knocked the wind out of him. {Wait a minute......that's not the way she usually acts when I accuse her of something. Not even since she died. Usually she gets mad, or swears she won't do that anymore. What's going on?} He swallowed hard. "You do?"