He has a hold on me. (Daniel Kyre x Reader)

Hold on to me, love. (Part 1)

'You know I can't stay long... All I wanted to say was 'I love you and I'm not afraid'

I stared up into the ceiling of my apartment. Daniel had been busy with the guys lately. I haven't seen him for weeks. I decided to pass my time with playing the new games that came out. Cartoonz, Ohm and I have been playing Rainbow Six Siege and getting aggressive with it to take out my anger from being ignored. He would be too busy to even text me. 

I got myself in such a runt because I would double, triple and quadruple again and again. I would call, and go from crying and telling him how much I missed him. I had depressing love songs playing on the computer that filled my empty apartment with even more sorrow. But it was the kind of sorrow that was comforting at moments, only because you know someone else feels like you do because they did make a song about it. 

I started to scare myself into panic attacks and making only a video a day, but I wasn't myself. I tried to smile and make jokes like I usually would, but I couldn't. I would try texting Matt, Mark and Ryan. Neither of them would answer me. My abandonment issues that I had from the past started to fill my head with doubt about my relationship with Daniel. 

"Does he love me, still?" Must not love you much anymore he isn't answering.

"What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong?" You fell for him. That is what's wrong. You trusted him. 

I laid in my bed. My friends, Cartoonz, Ohm, Seananners, all of them. Constantly asking me if I am okay. Cartoonz and Ohm knew about what was happening with me and Daniel. And they knew how badly it was effecting me. At one point I just turned off my phone. I had to try to be a little positive that I didn't put myself lowering my self esteem. But it was a battle I didn't want to lose. I had a bad self harm problem in high school. I couldn't go back to that. 

I took two pain killers, then two sleep aids, and then two more pain killers. I laid in bed and cried myself to sleep. My stomach hurting from not eating that day. 

Holding my last breath...

Safe inside myself, are all my thoughts of you...

Sweet raptured light...

I turned my phone back on and decided to tell everyone I was okay. I just wasn't feeling good. 

...It ends here tonight... 

When I awoke, I had missed calls from Daniel and texts. I read through each of the texts slowly. Worrying about what he was going to say. As if he would know of my pain and crush me, or heal me. 

Hey can we talk?

We need to meet up, we need to talk. 

Message me when you get this. 

I need to talk to you.

Please, we need to talk. 

Seriously, are you ignoring me?

Meet me at my house at six tonight. We need to talk. Don't eat, I am making food. We have some serious stuff to talk about.

I started to shake. What if he was leaving me. I started to cry again. Tears began to pour down my cheeks. 

You pray your dreams will leave you here, but still, you wake and know the truth...

I text back and say okay. I get a shower and do my hair, makeup and put on a cute off the shoulders top, skinny jeans and black toms. I put on my pricey perfume. I mentally tried to prepare myself for the worst. I took his hoodie and put it on. He smelled like his cologne. The sweet smell that helped you through panic attacks. I walked to the car and got in it. I took a deep breath before knowing if my heart was going to be shattered. 

....No one's there...