One Big Journey ~Harry Styles Fan Fiction~

20. Suprise

Hazel’s POV:

Slut. Fat. Bitch. Whore. Stupid. Idiot. Ugly. Hoe. I slid the razor across my wrist as I thought of the horrible words I am. The blood that was falling down onto the tiled floor made me feel so much better. I felt relief each time my skin was cut open.

A knock on the bathroom door and I started frantically looking around for a place to hide the razor. I quickly rinsed off the blood and threw the razor back into my drawer. I told Cher she could come in and soon the door opened and she walked in.

“Hey. Why do you spend so much time in the bathroom lately?” Cher asked, laughing a bit. I laughed nervously and put my arms behind my back, trying to hide the newly formed scars, “I never see you anymore. I think the bathroom is your new best friend.”

I laughed nervously, again and then an awkward silence filled the room, “So, um what’s for dinner?” I wanted to release this uncomfortable silence, but it wasn’t working.  It was still very uncomfortable. When will she leave? I want to just wash off the blood and sleep forever.

“I actually don’t know. Maybe we could go out to eat? I saw this little Italian restaurant while I was out exploring. I just thought it would be nice; we haven’t talked in so long. How has the search for a record label gone—you know what, let’s wait for dinner tonight. I’m so excited!” Cher said, bouncy up and down suddenly.

I nodded and said, “Yeah okay. I just want to jump into the shower, you know, just wash out my hair, get it nice looking for the restaurant.” Cher smiled and nodded. She left the bathroom as I turned around to turn on the water of the shower. And I could’ve sworn I heard Cher gasp behind me, but it was probably just my imagination.

Once the shower was nice and warm, I got into the shower and did all that shower stuff. Washing of my hair and body, but I spent extra time on my wrists to clean up all the blood. I didn’t want Cher to see anything. I didn’t want her to know anything or worry. I’m fine.

Okay, that’s a lie. I am not okay at all. I’m so down in the dumps I had resorted to cutting. I hate myself for doing it. No matter how much relief I felt, I feel sick to my stomach. I swore to myself I’d never cut, and now, now I have. I have taken a blade to my skin and now the scar will be there to remind me of these dark days. I want to forget everything.

I wrapped a towel around my body and opened up the bathroom door. I walked down the hallway into my room and I heard some muffled voice. It sounded like Cher was on the phone. I didn’t think too much about it, she’s probably just talking to her mom. They do talk an awful lot.

I closed and locked my bedroom door and opened up the dresser looking for a shirt to wear. I picked out a short sleeved shirt, but then I realized I had cuts on my wrist so I then settled on a tank top and a maroon sweatshirt with gold studs on the shoulders and forearms.

I put on acid washed jeans, my black converse and then put on heavy makeup around my eyes and pink lipstick. I put my hair up on top of my head in a bun, and put a white and blue bandana around the bun. I looked in the mirror one last time before heading out the door.

“Oh hey Hazel. I’m just going to get dressed now; can’t go out to a restaurant in my PJs can I?” Cher said laughing at the end. I nodded and laughed along with her. She walked past me and went into her room. About ten minutes later Cher came out fully dressed.

She was wearing a light blue spaghetti strap tank top, dark blue ripped jeans and light blue converse. Her hair was pulled back up in a high ponytail and she had light makeup on. Barely any at all and I thought back to the time I didn’t wear makeup. I was so stupid back then.

“Okay ready.” Cher said and smiled. I smiled back and she started on her way to the door. I trailed behind her, making sure to grab the phone Harry got me. It has come to be a very useful device. Although it’s an easier way to get hate, but Harry is no longer part of my life so hopefully it will stop.

After a few minutes of walking, Cher and I finally reached the little restaurant and we went in. After another few minutes of waiting and asking for a table, we got a table and a waitress took us to it and gave us menus as we sat down.

“So, I’m thinking we should go to the spa in a few days. Get a touch up. Wouldn’t that be fun?” Cher asked, closing her menu and putting it down. A spa actually did sound pretty good right now. I want to release all the stress from everything that’s been going on lately.

“Oh my God, yes. I would love to go to the spa. I could use a mani pedi.” I said, laughing at the end. Cher laughed nervously and opened up her menu again. I furrowed my eyebrows, but shrugged it off. I should probably be looking for something to eat anyway.

--

It has been a week already, and I haven’t gotten any better. I cut my thighs today. Because there was more hate. They were saying how much they hated me because I hurt their precious Harry’s heart. It is all too confusing and I just want to disappear.

“Come on Hazel, the spa appointment is in a half hour and if we want to get there on time, we need to leave now.” Cher called out somewhere from the apartment. I walked out of my room after throwing on a T-shirt and jeans. I furrowed my eyebrows at the sight of Cher.

“Why do you have a suitcase?” I asked cautiously. Cher said she wanted to drop some clothes off at her boyfriend’s place so when she stays the night, but last time I checked, Cher was single. This is all too weird. Well, I shouldn’t think too much about it.

“Okay, let’s go.” I said smiling bright. Cher smiled back nervously, and left the apartment quickly. I followed behind her, and she was walking quickly. Too quickly. There was something up with Cher and I didn’t know what was happening. I thought we were friends but she’s keeping secrets. How nice.

Cher got into the car and I got in and she threw the suitcase in the back seat. I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. I had to think all of this through. Something is up with Cher. I mean I guess she could have a boyfriend, but I thought she wanted to work on her career first.

After what seemed to be an hour, Cher stopped the car and got out. Okay this is a weird spa. Wait this isn’t a spa. Hey wait, I’ve passed this place before but I can’t remember what it exactly is. Hmm maybe it is a spa; I just didn’t pay much attention.

Cher walked in before me and when I walked in she had already talked to the women at the counter about our appointment. That’s when it hit me. This is no spa. This is someplace much worse. I saw Harry’s mop of curls appear from around a corner and everything turned to slow motion.

“Cher,” I whispered quietly. She turned around and opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off, “You’re not taking me to the spa. This isn’t even a spa and—and the suitcase.” I put all the pieces into my head, even though I knew everything once I stepped into this building.

"Rehab?"

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The end. Yup, I’m 100% serious. This is the end of Hazel’s one big journey.

But, it can keep going. I’m probably not going to do a sequel but if you, as the readers, want me to tell me!

Pic on the side --> Cher and Hazel’s outfit to the restaurant

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**Jules**