CARPE NOCTEM, jon snow

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀eight

eight. as in dreams

loc. castle black, the wall. 298AC

⠀⠀⠀Carsen's dreams were of cerialises and serpents and lakes that night when the hand on her shoulder jerked her awake.

⠀⠀⠀She woke to Sam's pale, ever-timid eyes staring down at her. His round face seemed leaner from the shadows cast by the candle he held, for the dormitory was blackly washed with the violet light of dusk.

⠀⠀⠀Carsen blinked, waving Sam's candle away. The light was burning her weak eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"It's supper time," the boy said anxiously. "Jon and Pyp said you didn't break your fast, so I thought I'd come get you."

⠀⠀⠀Carsen smiled slightly, rubbing the last of the sleep from her eyes and sat up. She nodded her thanks to Sam, who broke into a nervous smile, as she stood, trying not to be perturbed by the way her legs shook. She tried to recall her dream—nightmare?—as she made her way absently down to the dining hall, but the details were trickling away as water might slip through fingers.

⠀⠀⠀In a way, Carsen felt detached. Even as she arrived in the gloomy dining hall, surrounded by bread and ale, by talking and laughing and the slapping of mouths, she felt as though most of her still lay in her bed. Most of her still danced with the snakes and swam in the rivers and ran with the cerialises of her dreams. Blinking abruptly and feeling the images dissipate in her mind's eye, Carsen grabbed a hunk of bread and a mug of dark ale and took a seat beside Jon.

⠀⠀⠀He smiled at her as she sat, but it was a wan, flat sort of smile, and Carsen could see the strings at his mouth threatening to pull the smile down into a frown. She furrowed her eyes questioningly, but Jon only shook his head, then jerked it at the table behind.

⠀⠀⠀Behind them, Rast and the rest of his friends sat. Carsen had found they were each as vulgar, foolish and filthy as the others, and it only took a few seconds to realise the source of their raucous laughter today—Sam, of course.

⠀⠀⠀Carsen, stupidly, only now just realised Sam hadn't entered the hall with her. She twisted round in her seat, but he was nowhere to be found. Come to think of it, Carsen didn't remember him even walking with her. Had he just stayed behind at the dormitory, alone, hungry? She felt her heart twist unexpectedly, as though a shard of ice had been lodged in the muscle and yanked. She turned back to her bread but found she was no longer hungry, and took a deep swig of ale instead. The liquid was thick and sharp and dirty, and it burned as it went down.

⠀⠀⠀"Where is Prince Porkchop?" Pyp yelled over the echoing din of talk to Grenn, who sat opposite.

⠀⠀⠀"He wasn't hungry," Jon replied tersely, toying with his stew.

⠀⠀⠀"Impossible!" cackled Grenn, and the table erupted into raucous laughter.

⠀⠀⠀"That's enough!" Jon burst out suddenly. "Sam's no different from the rest of us. There wasn't a place for him in the world, so he's come here. We're not going to hurt him in the training yard anymore. Never again, no matter what Thorne says. He's our brother now and we're going to protect him."

⠀⠀⠀A ringing silence met Jon's outburst, and the brown-haired boy glanced around briefly, then dunked his bread into his stew and tore a chunk off with his teeth. When he caught Carsen's look, she broke into a wide smile. Jon stiffened, mouth full of bread, and swallowed thickly. He nodded clumsily at Carsen then turned his eyes to his stew bowl.

          "The noble Lord Snow," Pyp sighed, putting his chin in his hand. "S'pose you've got a point though. He ain't all bad, for a craven."

          To Carsen's surprise, Halden nodded too. Perhaps he was feeling a little guilty for his assault on Sam under Thorne's orders.

⠀⠀⠀"You are in love, Lord Snow," said Rast in disgust. "You girls can do as you please. But if Thorne puts me up against Lady Piggy, I'm slicing me off a side of bacon."

⠀⠀⠀Carsen turned round to look Rast dead in the eye, and noticed Jon doing the same. She saw a black flame burning in his eyes, brighter than she'd ever seen it burn before, and, ironically, felt chilled to the very bone. Jon's eyes shone with the promise of retribution and unforgotten debts and a wealth of mislike.

⠀⠀⠀Carsen properly realised just then just how similar she and Jon were, as she turned back to her ale and drained the mug.

☆彡

⠀⠀⠀It was late when Jon gave the signal.

⠀⠀⠀Carsen stayed well away from Jon's direwolf. It slunk at its master's feet, a white shadow, those haunting eyes burning out of the darkness. It still growled when Carsen approached, but there was nobody in the Seven Kingdoms that could stop her from partaking in this one brief, fleeting taste of vengeance.

⠀⠀⠀Rast snored like a lion with a headcold.

⠀⠀⠀Ghost, the direwolf, slunk ahead as they approach, swift as silk, and perched on Rast's pallet. Pyp and Grenn were grinning like little children, but Carsen was silent, watchful, all but baiting her breath as Jon held the twisted cloth between two hands and, at godspeed, slipped it over Rast's mouth.

⠀⠀⠀He jerked to life immediately, his spit wetting the cloth. He would have whimpered if his mouth hadn't been blocked, for Ghost loomed above him, nose furrowed, red eyes flashing and teeth bared to their full extent, ready to rip velvet flesh from Rast's bones as easily as Carsen would have devoured a lamb chop.

⠀⠀⠀"No one," Jon whispered, voice soft as a rose petal yet sharp as the thorns underneath, "touches Sam."

⠀⠀⠀With that, he lifted the gag and the four backed away into the shadows, leaving Rast to piss himself in peace.

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