Cuts and Bruises (ON HOLD)

Chapter Sixteen: Black and White Make Gray

It was about midnight and we hadn't eaten so Dad had asked if we wanted anything. As a formality, of course I said no. I never fooled my dad though. He always got things for me even if I said I didn't want them. 

We were stopped at a Subway in the middle of town. I had always talked about Subway as a kid; I loved it. I think I just really loved the smell. Still, the food is amazing.

Even though I'm almost an adult, I still can't talk to servers at restaurants. Dad had to order my food. I smiled shyly as he kept saying 'she wants' 'she asked for'. It always made me feel embarrassed. The servers probably thought I was stupid for being so shy. It was their job to take my order after all.

"Do you kids want to go home and eat or stay here?" Dad asked.

"Home!" Iris, Ash and I all shouted simultaneously. We hated eating in public. Dad chuckled and nodded. Blaze took out his wallet to give my dad some money for his own food. My dad pretended to ignore him. He payed for all the food and acted surprised when he saw Blaze's extended hand with money. Blaze tried to give it to him but he wouldn't take it.

I have a stubborn boyfriend and a stubborn dad.

Oh joy.

I rolled my eyes and pulled Blaze away from my dad and out the door.

"Dad is it okay if we ride to your house with Blaze?" I call.

"Yeah that's fine sweetie," Dad calls back.

I crawl into the passenger side of Blaze's car and quickly plug in my phone. He gives me a weird look. I smirk as I pick a song.

"Mama, we all go to Hell

Mama, we all go to Hell

I'm writing this letter and wishing you well

Mama, we all go to Hell"

"Oh God turn this off please please please," Blaze says. He hates My Chemical Romance. I, personally love them. Ash and Iris sing along in the backseat.

"Look, sir, just because you hate them doesn't mean the rest of us weren't personally victimized by MCR's breakup." Blaze rolls his eyes at me. I turn up the radio and sing along. My Chemical Romance just has such beautiful songs. Its like a mixture if grunge-ish and soft rock in music today and I love it so much.

Plus Gerard Way is beautiful. That's beside the point.

I laughed as the song changed and Blaze sighed in relief.

"Honestly, what's so bad about MCR?" I ask.

"I just don't like their style."

"And you like Five Finger Death Punch and Nirvana and Fall Out Boy?" Those were his 3 favorite bands. He nodded.

I turned the song to his favorite: Young Volcanoes. He smiled and Ash yelled.

"This is my jam turn it up bi-biscuits," She stuttered, not wanting to say something bad in front of Iris. We all laughed as I reached to turn up the music.

"We are wild, we are like young volcanoes

We are wild, Americana, exotica

Do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?"

We all sang -or screamed rather- to the lyrics. The song was ending as Blaze pulled into the driveway behind my Dad.

I smiled as Blaze stood awkwardly behind my Dads giant black Subaru.

"He doesn't bite," I whisper, making Blaze jump.

"But the dad never likes the boyfriend... I want him to like me."

"He does like you. He only tells people he likes about the military. And plus, he wouldn't have shown you those pictures if he didn't." He smirked.

"He did that because he doesn't like you."

I scowled and punched his arm. I took his hand and dragged him inside. Ash and Iris followed us in.

Dad's house was the exact opposite of mine. It was huge, well-kept, and clean. The walls were bright white and the floors were hard glistening tiles. A black shag rug covered the area underneath the couch and coffee table. The white plush couch was covered by pitch black pillows and a black blanket.

I smiled at Dad's color choices. White was his favorite color. He said it reminded him of days when things weren't corrupted and they were clean and pure. He said it was a time when honesty and truth were honored and not disregarded. It was when things were pure and that was how you left them. It was a time when I was born.

Then black, which was my favorite color. He said it reminded him of today. It was after mom confessed and started drinking. It was after the divorce and my self harming. Dad knew. I know he did. He noticed things. He said black was a time when things went downhill and they tumbled down until they had so much momentum that he couldn't stop them no matter how hard he tried. Black was now.

But the tiles that covered the entire house were gray. He said gray was when we compromise. Gray was when we take the good and bad and make something beautiful of it. Gray is when you take the things that destroy you and make the black things and also take the things that make you smile and that are pure that make up the white parts and you put them together. He said gray was the future. It was when mom got back to her old self and so did I. Gray was when it all fixed itself, with our help. He said things only get gray when you let them. You have to help them. If you live in black you have to splatter around white and cover the black and it will eventually help you make gray.

Dad put his arm around me and pulled Blaze to his side. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed Blaze's shoulder.

"This, this is white." He looked down at me. I smiled at him.

"And you, darling, you're gray."