Rough Draft|tomlinson a.u

2

" there's no guarantee that this will be easy. there's not a miracle, believe me "

☹ L O U I S ☹

Staying strong has so many weaknesses. I have lots of weaknesses. No ones here, and the only thing that I can see is a sharp object. Giving up is easier. You wouldn't have to hurt yourself by making the wrong choices, and believe me..I've made many of them...

Sitting here alone, writing, drowning in my sorrows was my regular Monday night.

"LOUIS, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE!" He yelled.

I stumbled down the stairs, trying not to look weak in front of my dad.

"Y-yes." I said not loud but a whisper.

He walked towards me and I prepared my self for whatever punishment he was going to give me.

He raised his hand and smacked me right on the face, again. He did it to my left side as well, so they equally had bruises. I'd need way more foundation to cover this. He then took his belt out if his pants and flew it to my hands. I knew that if I screamed, he'd feel achieved. And I wouldn't let him.

I screwed my eyes shut as he kept hitting me. I but my lip so hard, I could taste the blood.

"You're such a worthless piece of fuck! No one will ever," he slurred, "EVER, love you."

I was saved by the phone ringing. I quickly ran up the stairs and locked my door. That's when the years started flowing. I went into my bathroom and looked into the mirror, my body soar as fuck. Bruises all over my face. My hands were bleeding. I cleaned my self up.

No, there wasn't a reason why I was being hit. Basically, it made him think he had even more power on me. My mom was not with us. Although, I wish every night she could come back.

I locked the door. I heard my father smashing the bottles of beer on the wall.

Deciding on a shower, I stripped of all clothes and walked into my shower. I turned the water on and slid down the shower wall. At this point, I didn't give a fuck about the wounds or the stings, at this point I was hands down numb. Having to go through this for 5 years, I was used to it. I was used to the feeling of feeling nothing but pain.

I looked at the blade next to me and grabbed it. Bringing it towards my wrist, over lining all of my other cuts. I swiped it very fast to my wrist, doing it for a while. I was covered in tears, silently crying at the pain. It was unbearable now.

I couldn't say I was used to it but I was used to crying myself to sleep and crying in the shower. I looked at my wrist and it was covered with blood still oozing out. I slowly bought my shaking body up to the shower and washed the blood away.

"Fuck!" I scram at the stinging pain on my arms and back.

After I cleaned up, I shut the water and took a towel from the rack. Once I was out of the shower, I put alcohol on my cuts so they wouldn't get infected. I covered my bruises and my cuts as well with my moms foundation. I've never thrown any of her stuff out, and I don't plan to.

I threw on my clothes and got out of the bathroom. My stomach rumbled but I was used to this as well. I usually starved myself to the point where I felt like fainting.

I put my ear to the door to see if my father was home. I couldn't hear anything so I opened it and came out.

I made my way to the kitchen and took out some left over food that I had bought the other day. I brought the food back up to my room, knowing he will be back.

I ate my food in silence as I stared out the window. I looked at my neighbors window across the street. It seemed weird but I thought I saw a similar face. There was a girl with familiar brown hair. She turned around and I got a look at her face.

Amarelle.

I squinted to make sure that it was her.

How did I never see her before? Has she been living by me all this time?

I went back to my food and thought of something, anything, to do.

I had only one friend and I thought of calling him. It was about time I go out and do something.

I grabbed my phone and clicked on his contact.

"Hello?" His familiar voice rang through the phone.

"Hey Harry, I was wondering if we could chill?"

"Yeah, sure mate. Meet me by the diner in a hour." He said and hung up.

Harry and I met a month ago in school. I was walking to my next ground and he asked for directions, obviously new to this ground. From then, we hung out a few times. But little did he know my secrets. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell anyone because I know that they would leave.

I got up and went to my desk. I had nothing else to do for the next hour I would see Harry.

I took out my essay and started writing more.

My stories different from anyone else. I've been through more than any guy my age could've gone through. I take my pain away by just a swift of a sharp object. Everything feels so right when I place the object on my skin. I love the feeling of more pain. My body is numb. But I know that I deserve all this pain, all of the blood...

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uh yea, but guys whatever I write about(cutting and all that) please don't you try any of that. Do not self harm. It does not feel good, you only regret yourself please talk to someone if you ever feel like that. Please don't hurt your beautiful self.

your fucking beautiful okay

ily

Comment vote share and all that funky shit(;

fUNKY OMFG I CRACK MYSELF UP OMFG

OH AND GUYS MY LIKE BIO(desripton) WAS MADE BY MY FRIEND BELLA

HER TWITTER IS @owbands SO CHECK HER OUT PLEASE SHES SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER!!

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O bai ily♡