Dad Jokes

Chapter One

"Jesus girl, why aren't you here yet?" Jacob gushed into the phone as I shifted, holding the small device between my shoulder and my cheek, tapping the steering wheel with manicured fingertips.

"I'm trying, Jake. If you saw this traffic I'm in right now, you would think twice before giving me an attitude." I snapped softly, scrunching my nose up and staring at the unmoving Volkswagen in front of me.

Hearing a large sigh from the receiver, there was a pause and I considered on hanging up, but soon my friend's voice returned. "Fine, fine. Shit, m'sorry, just stressed. I'm gonna leave, but as soon as you get here, ask for Green, table for two. The waiter will bring you. I'll let H know you're gonna be running a little late."

I was relieved when the traffic let up, and the line of cars in front of me made their way down the highway, yet my stress level was through the roof. And I thought senior year was rough. "Why did you set this up again?" I groaned internally, biting down onto my lower lip.

"I did this all for you. You need to live a little, T! Trust me, you'll be thanking me later." I could almost hear his wink before I rolled my eyes, huffing.

"Whatever, bye dork." I bit out a laugh, hearing a faint 'bye loser' before I clicked the red button to hang up, tossing my black android on the seat beside me.

Although I was cheery and smiley, I couldn't help but feel my face pale and my grip tighten on the leather of my steering wheel. I had got a call last weekend from Jake, saying that his friend from his summer home in England was visiting, and was looking for a good time. I wasn't the social type, hell, Jacob was lucky I could even communicate with him properly on the phone. Letting out a frustrated sigh, my brown eyes glaring at my windshield before I made a sharp right turn, the car behind me getting startled as I heard a loud honking.

The Cut was a nice looking restaurant when I pulled into the parking lot, like 5 Star nice. The nicest you could ever dream to get in LA. Was this dude rich? Green... I thought in my head, thinking back to me and Jacob's previous conversation as I turned the engine off, glaring once more. I didn't want to enter the expensive building, but standing him up wouldn't be the best thing to do either.

The inside was just as breathtaking as the outside, and here I was in a simple white blouse and a knee length black skirt. Feeling eyes on me, I cowered away and slowly pushed myself past the hungry, angry waiting customers as the guy at the counter looked me up and down with such distaste. "Did you not get the memo that this was anything but a casual occasion?" The snark in his voice made me want to shove my entire purse down his throat.

"Green," I spat, brown eyes narrowing at him, my hands slapping down onto the desk that separated us, I was already in a sour mood because of traffic, and he honestly wasn't helping. "Reservations for Green, table for two."

Realization flashed in his hazel and it seemed like something snapped in him, his head nodding rapidly as he cleared his throat. "Yes, yes. Green. Right this way, miss." Motioning me further into the restaurant, he lead me to a more secluded place. It was outside, and away from any of the other costumers which momentarily concerned me, the fear fading away just as quickly as it came. A roof. We were on the fucking roof, I realized, my body pivoting to look around me at the tall buildings that stood in the distance, and I was so focused that I didn't even notice the small table in front of me.

The waiter was gone, leaving me and a man that was wearing.... a fake mustache. His suit was top notch, probably designer brand, but that mustache made me shake my head in disappointment. 

"You must be Townes?" A rough, strong British accent addressed me as I nodded in agreement, as I advanced forward, only for him to leap up rather clumsily from his own seat so he could pull mine out for me. His heavy scent of apples filled my nostrils, before I sat down and he pushed me in, disappearing back to his side just as quick. He stumbled over his own two feet, and it was honestly the cutest thing ever.

"And you must be Harry Styles," I grinned and flashed him a small wink as he flushed, his ring clad fingers stilling on our table, his dark green eyes widening in the darkness. 

"No, ha, I'm Henry Green," He insisted, his fingers tapping rapidly on the table again, but it didn't help his case when his so-called mustache was half off his upper lip.

"Right," I snorted, before leaning across the table to grab at his disguise, yanking it off without hesitation or even a warning, his eyes widening as he screamed. Not even a manly one, it was frail and shrill.

After his tall ass calmed down, Harry slumped in his seat and peered up at me through his eyelashes, a small pout settled on his full lips. "How did you know?" He whined lightly, licking slowly over his lips as he studied me curiously, his eyes telling me all I needed to know about who he was as a person. He seemed genuine, and I bet if I killed this fly that was hovering by my face he would burst into tears, and he would apologize at every little thing.

"The mustache wasn't really a good disguise man, step up your game. People actually believe that?" I scoffed, and he instantly hung his head in shame, slowly shaking his head.

"Well, sometimes..." He muttered, raking his hands through his mass array of curls that were held in place by a camo bandana. "Just wanted to get here without drawing too much attention, don't want to drag you into this famous life." His attitude returned to playful and he grinned at me from the other side of the table, humming. "I ordered us wine before you got here, hope it's okay."

"Well..." My voice drawled out and his eyes went wide with panic, as his head turned for any sight of the waiter, before I laughed and he visibly relaxed, "It's fine, mister Styles." I was teasing him, and he warmed up immediately and laughed along with me, pouring me a bit of the red wine.

"No fair, you know my last name but I don't know yours," He grunted, before turning to pour himself a cup of the expensive wine, as I lifted mine to sniff it.

"Jones. Pretty generic." Holding the glass to my lips, I took a small sip and hummed at the flavor. It was different than the other wine brands I had tasted before.

"Hm... Jones. Townes Jones. Townes." I could barely hear his mumbled words as he sipped at his own cup of wine, eyebrows creasing together as the tip of his tongue traced his lower lip. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen. In my last year of high school." His eyes widened in pleasant shock, tilting his head as a small smile played on his pink lips.

"I'm twenty-"

"I know." I scoffed playfully, rolling my eyes a small bit. I mean, he was Harry Styles, everything about him was available to know at the click of a button.

A comfortable silence fell upon us after that, him ordering a cheese pizza for us which I wasn't really complaining as I leaned back in my seat and studied his features. Harry's cheeks were flushed, his eyelashes heavy as he drug his finger around the edge of his wine glass before taking another sip before his soft jade green irises met my dark brown ones.

"Wanna tell me about you?"

And so I did, informing him about my home town, my family, my friends, but dream job, and he listened contently, hanging onto every detail. Little did I know he was going to write a song about me in a few years, and I was gonna become famous over night.