Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 46: Not Good For You

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Don't let insecure thoughts ruin something amazing.

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I was pacing again. I was a fidgety and nervous mess. It felt like someone had strung a rope around my stomach and pulled it so tightly it was getting hard to breathe. My tummy hurt so badly I thought I was going to be sick. Any minute now, I would have to take a trip to the bathroom of that I was sure.

I checked the clock on the kitchen wall before resuming my pacing in the hall. Any minute now his truck would arrive on my street, the wooden flooring of the porch would creak under his feet before he'd ring the doorbell.

My hands had started fidgeting around an hour ago, rubbing my arms, running through my hair, hugging my torso while waiting for his arrival. My chest was so tight it left me breathless and, in addition, seriously making me consider if I was suffering from a heart attack since the organ in my chest was palpitating by the second.

I was deeply regretting to have called him last night, but, in a way, I also felt relieved.

I was twisting the ring on my index finger around, looking down at it while coming to a halt a feet away from the door. My feet were itching to get me back to moving them around, but I stood still, paralyzed.

That's when I heard it. The slowing of a car's engine. The opening and closing of a door. The footsteps against pavement and a minute later against wood. A set of feet coming to an abrupt halt.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my breath catching in my lungs.

And then...

The ringing of the doorbell.

My heart skipped a beat at the sound. My mind was fuzzy as I approached the door. Slowly, I reached out to settle my hand against the doorknob. I took a deep, deep breath before removing the last thing that separated us.

I swear, my heart stopped beating the moment my gaze settled on his form. "Sam." My voice sounded unsteady and totally unlike myself. It seemed as though I couldn't quite believe he was actually standing in front of me.

His light brown hair nestled neatly on top of his head, a sunbeam falling against the stunning blue gray of his eyes, causing them to shine some more. The white v-neck he was wearing hugged the muscles in his torso nicely and accentuated his biceps. A tattoo was peeking out from underneath the short sleeve of his left arm. There was another one on the inside of his forearm, but before I could properly figure out what it was I looked away.

He gave me the smallest of smiles which was very unlike him since he'd normally have a permanent grin etched into his features. I welcomed him inside and walked him into our kitchen. "I'm glad you called."

I ignored the urge to grimace and instead asked if he wanted a drink. He didn't. A heavy, tension-filled silence settled over the room. I rubbed my neck uncomfortably, averting my eyes. What should I say? Oh God, why hadn't I properly thought this through? Of course he was waiting for me to say something, I ordered him here.

I could feel his eyes on me while I studied the kitchen island as though the answer to my question was somewhere hiding in the granite.

"Liz?"

Hearing my name, my head snapped up. I hummed.

"Why am I here?"

I let out a deep breath, not knowing what to answer.

"Don't get me wrong I'm glad you wanted to see me, but..."

I sighed and ran a hand over my face. "I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I don't know why you are here. Or why I wanted to see you. I just know that I..." I trailed off, not able to speak the words that were lingering on the tip of my tongue.