"Really perfection is only just impossibility."
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Sometimes I'm happy to be alone. Glad even that I'm able to enjoy me-time in peace.
Other times I feel so lonely that I can't breathe without enduring the emp...
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Sighing, I locked my phone and flipped it over so I couldn't see the screen. My heart was lying heavily in my chest.
Ever since my date with Sam several days ago I regretted that I'd told anyone about him, because now people would ask questions. Questions that I didn't have the heart to answer truthfully. So, I avoided them and deflected whenever the topic would arise.
That day I'd last seen him I made a decision that was best for everyone included. I made up my mind about dating him. I came to the conclusion that it'd be best not to see him again. Anxious or not, I was too complicated for him. I didn't want to pull him into all of my drama. Not to mention that after I'd eventually open up to him at a later date in our hypothetical relationship he'd regret ever meeting me.
It was unfair of me to show him something, to show him myself, and make him realize what he really signed up for. It wasn't fair to him that he'd only get me. Sam needed someone as easy going and laid back as himself, not someone who's list of flaws was so long you couldn't count it on both hands. Opposites attract my ass.
To put it simply, I wasn't the right girl for him. And maybe I wasn't the right girl for anyone. And that was okay. I could accept the fact that I would only ever be the good friend with no boyfriend. It was okay. Really, it was.
"Bee?"
My head jerked upwards. "Hmm?"
"It's your turn."
I cleared my throat. "Right." A hint of worry was in his eyes as he looked at me. Quickly, I zeroed in on the passage I was meant to read. Most of my free time was spend at Ryan's place these days to read the book for literature. The remaining spare time was mostly devoted to me, myself and I.... And sometimes the team.
There were fewer and fewer disputes I had to attend to with every day passing. They'd won every single game as of now. I wouldn't say everything was going smoothly, but they'd definitely improved their game and strengthened their team bond. Besides, I doubted it was possible for it to go smoothly between all team members. Each and every single one of them were so completely different to one another. I was afraid there would always be a kind of dislike between some of them. But there would always be people we liked and some others we didn't so it was only normal. A natural reaction to things.
I raised my head after I ended my last line and he didn't start reading. He was looking at me from across the room. "Ryan?"
No answer spilled from his lips instead he tilted his head to the side and kept watching me. I frowned under the stare of his green orbs. I had to admit that I was a little concerned about him. I'd noticed the dark spots under his eyes before, but they particularly stood out today. I'd asked him of course how he was feeling and if he wanted to talk about it. The only answer he'd given me was that he'd-quite apparently-had a rough night.
