Lover Dearest

Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Although my heart wasn't necessarily up to it yet, I changed into some dressy clothes and called up some of my Bryant girlfriends. I coerced Megan and Taylor into taking me to the movies. There wasn't much to do in Arkansas, but everyone's fail safe plan was always the movies.

We watched an action packed thriller-like movie and it got my adrenaline pumping. I wanted to see Devin. I wanted to show him how great I was doing without him. I knew where he was tonight. We were supposed to go to a party in North Little Rock, at a place called Juanita's. There weren't any bands playing tonight and it was just going to be a giant party with lots of illegal substances. Good thing I didn't take my car tonight.

I went home to change because Megan and Taylor told me that I looked like a depressed puppy with sad eyes. I had put on no makeup for the movie and I was in skinny jeans and a black tee shirt. That was my definition of 'dressing up'.

They dolled me up and straightened my almost waist length blonde hair so that it looked like a skater girls hairstyle. It so wasn't me. They gave me a pair of super tight white denim short shorts and a pair of black Vans and topped the outfit off with a graphic tee shirt. When it was all over they garnished me with edgy earrings and necklaces and rings until I looked like a full on badass. When I took a look in the mirror, it wasn't myself who was looking back at me, it was a happier, better version of myself. I loved it.

The party had started at eight and we came strolling in at half past ten. It didn't matter, the party wouldn't be over for at least four more hours. All the girls there were dressed in jeans and tee shirts, I felt like the only one there in shorts, but the heat from everyone in the packed room made me glad I was.

I spotted my usual friends that I hung out with when I was still with Devin. They all waved at me and looked at me funny, like I didn't look like myself. Because I didn't. And that thought excited me. It was my turn to show them. Show them all.

The bass from the sound system pounded in my ears and thumped along to the crashing of my beating heart. The night outside held an eerie tint that seeped inside the building. Something strange was going to happen tonight. A tingling premonition crawled across my head and slithered down my spine. I shuddered and willed the feeling to go away. It wouldn't. It was like a throbbing pain in a bad bruise. You knew it was there but you can ignore it. So that's what I did. Ignore it. Ignore it all. Make it all go away.

They were passing around a bottle of white wine and I gladly gripped the sturdy bottle in both of my hands. I tipped it back in my mouth and let the bitter liquid slide down and scorch my awaiting throat. The sensation quieted the premonition and I gladly downed another sip. Everyone around me whistled and hollered and I felt extremely pleased with myself.

Until I saw a familiar face round a corner in my peripheral vision. I downed two more sips and earned more laughs and cheers. Someone was also passing around a cigarette. I don't usually smoke, but tonight was a rare occasion to make myself feel better. To get back at him. I inhaled a small puff, held it, then sucked in another breath to make sure everyone knew about my new badass image. I didn't even cough.

Two hours and three vodka shots later, my vision blurred and I felt wobbly. I felt terrible, like someone took a sledgehammer to my skull and left it in there like a Halloween decoration. I was sitting on a random guys lap and he kept trying to kiss my neck but I slap his hand away at every attempt. I'm staring at speaker on the ground. Megan and Taylor were outside smoking probably. I was alone. Again. I saw him approach. Devin. I brace for the attack. There is no attack, just kind words and a gentle voice

"Hey, are you okay? Do you have a ride home?" His brown eyes pierce into my consciousness and make me talk without slurring. It doesn't work.

"Yep! I'm so great; Megs and Tay are taking me home!"