Lost & Found (Beatles Fan Fiction)

Prologue

In the winter of 1966 I started my relationship with John Lennon. By the summer of 1967, he had divorced Cynthia and we were by all means a couple. We tried to keep our relationship private to avoid any unnecessary publicity. I have to admit that it was hard to think that John had divorced Cynthia and I had a constant guilt over breaking up a family. John reassured me that his marriage to Cynthia was already dead by the time I came along and it was confirmed by Cynthia one night a year or so later when we were over to pick up Julian. 

John was packing up Julian's things for the two weeks that we were going to take him on holiday and I took that time to talk with Cynthia. 

"I just wanted to say how very sorry I am that things turned out this way for you and Julian. I never wanted to break up a family...and I..." I trailed off not really knowing what the point of me saying this to Cynthia had been. 

"Don't apologize. I hate to admit it, but John and I were over long before you came into his life." She sighed as she sat down at the kitchen table. "I'm actually very thankful that you have constantly been pushing for John and Julian to have a relationship despite everything." 

"Julian is his son....and John his father. That will never change and I do want them to have a father-son relationship." I said. 

"Good luck with that...I've been trying for years..." Cynthia said with sadness. "But thanks for keeping Julian in his life." she continued, giving me a small smile. 

"Of course...and Cynthia...I just wanted to thank you for the way you've handled all of this. It has been very classy of you." I said. 

"John is a good man Mirel...he's a complicated man....but he is a good man,,,I guess I realize now that I just wasn't able to give him what he was looking for...so I hope you will be able to."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." I replied. 

"But if you can't...don't lose your sense of self...there is life after John Lennon." She continued.

Those words would later prove to be my salvation.

***

Sadly, a couple of years later I found myself in the same situation as Cynthia had one day found herself in. I was saying goodbye to John. I saw him walk away hand in hand with an avant-garde artist named Yoko Ono. I had met her a few times when John and I had gone to see some of her work. I never thought our love of art would one day lead to me saying goodbye to the man I loved...but inevitably it happened. It was a clean break really. John had sat me down and confessed that although he had been in love with me, his feelings had changed. 

"I loved you...I loved you so much...and I don't regret anything during these past few years by your side Mirel....but I don't want to lie to you...I swear to you I've thought about this." 

His words hurt so much. It was hard because although his love for me had changed, mine was just as strong or stronger as the day I had fallen in love with him. 

"Thank you for being so honest with me. I guess there's no use pretending to be something we're not." I said as tears started streaming down my face. 

John leaned in and wiped them away. "I'll keep the memory of us always..." he said sweetly. "And although I'm not in love with you...I still love and care about you." 

"I know..." I said as I looked down. "I'll be alright...and although my heart is hurting now, it'll heal." 

There was a long pause. 

"I guess there's nothing else to say... but goodbye." I continued, now looking up at John. 

"Think of me from time to time?" John asked. 

I nodded. 

John and I stood up and I hugged him. His arms wrapped around me tightly. I wanted to stay like that forever, but I knew I had to let go...I had to let John go. As we pulled away, I saw John's eyes were holding back tears. He started for the door and as I watched him, I couldn't help but call out to him one last time. 

"John." 

He turned around. 

"I know I wasn't able to give you what you were looking for...but I hope Yoko does." I said repeating the words Cynthia had once told me. 

John walked over to me and took my hand. "Thank you." he said as he gently kissed it.

That day I saw John walk out the door and walk out of my life and into Yoko's. 

I thought about Cynthia's words to me that day we had gone to pick up Julian and sighed. 

So was she right? Is there life after John Lennon? This is my story.