Hey guys so im going to try and update atleast one time a day, If you guys could Tell your friends about this story. I hope you guys are enjoying it. ILYSM stay strong babes!
I needed to get this figured out. I felt all the emotions come to me, screaming, crying, breaking, and dieing. I dont really get why i got this now. I turned the letter around to the back and there was a post-it note from the lady at the desk at the hospital. " I forgot to give this last time you were here but forgot." that what it said. I turned it back over to the front and began to read.
" Dear Alexa,
My sweet beautiful Alexa you were so happy as a small child. I know you are probably wondering how i knew and predicted you tried to kill yourself. Me and you are pretty much the same people although I am dead now. I was so happy and care free as a child like you, my parents fought just like your mother and I. Alexa you were my world and you always will be baby. Your childhood was so hard and you just kept pushing forward everyday. Up in till now. Please dont ever let them bullies get to you. You are so much more worth their foul mouthed bullshit. Please dont try to kill yourself again baby. You are so young to end it now. Stay strong my beautiful daughter. I will love you when nobody else will. - Love forever, Your daddy Kyle xoxo"
I broke down in tears after the first sentence. He must have gave it to grandma before he killed himself. I really wish he was still here becasue other than Livi he wooud probably understand me. I am just so blown away that he did this. This should be a reason for me to keep pushing but honestly it just makes me want to kill myself more to see him again.
" Whats wrong small fry?" Livi came over and sat next to me and i handed her the letter. " OMG!" she yelped it sounded like she was at the boarderline of tears.
" I think im just going to o to bed, This has been a pretty ruff day. Night." i said.
Livi didnt leave the room like she usually would. She lets me sleep in her room and she sleeps on the couch.
" Im not going to leave you kid, how do i know you arent going to get up in the middleof the night and cut or kill yourself. The only reason i sleep in late is because i dont sleep at night just to see if you get up. I dont like you hurt. Too many people have hurt you and i dont want you to hurt yourself too."
She said tiredly, She took a blanket and layed down on the ground next to the bed, so if i did get up during the night i would fall on her.
i felt someone shake me awake, " Wake up kid someone is here to see you, and no they arent here to beat you up." Livi said.
So i put a sweater on so that who everit was didnt see my cuts. I fell down the stairs because i was deffinitly not awake. Iopened the door with a smile not caring who it was.
"Hey I heard you were in the hospital and i wanted to see if you were okay. I know you really don't know who i am but ive seen you at school. you always look like you need a hug or a friend. I really have no friends because i was new to the school. But can we talk. Ive been threw alot like you." The sweet sad girl said softly.
i can tell she was sad she just had that look in her eyes and i could see her scars, all up her arm. I let her in because it was true i did need a friend. Somebody i can run to when i go to school because Livi is older plus she is dropped out.
I walked her up to Livis room with Livi hot on our trail, what a big sister.
" So whats your name hot stuff?" i joked around while taking off the sweater.
" Im Halle." she replied faking a smile,
"So you want some frineds. Well BAM no you have some low life dirtbags. Im Livi." Livi blurted.
" So Miss Halle whats your story?"
" Well i was raped when i was ten, thats when the cutting and self hate started. My mom left and my dad would always be drunk and have his friends over and they are the ones who raped me. My older brother Steven would abused me. He cracked my head open twice because of him. Um lets see ive tired killing myself 18 times and failed. I was bullied out of 3 schools and now im at the school we go to now. I still get bullied but not as bad as it used to be. and Now im here making some friends," Halle took a big breathe.
"well we got you now so your safe from shit. You smoke?" I said giggling.
" yeah" she replied back with a giggle.
" when did you do those?" HAlle pointed at my scars.
" Pointing isnt nice kid" Livi said sturnly. " Its fine cool off dude you got a new friend. I got these stitched up a couple days ago, half ogf them are from a fight and half are from me." i said shamfully.
Halle started crying after looking at the cuts for 10 minutes.
" im sorry but how can someone so beautiful want to hurt so bad and how could someone cut open anothers arm likeit was nothing. Im sorry im just so sympithetic. BUt i feel your pain. Heres my number if you evre need it." She handed me her number." Alexa please dont kill yourself its a terrible thing. You may think you have the greatest reasons to kill yourself but you have me and Livi and that is all you need. i have to go but call me later maybe we can chill." Halle said whipping her tears.
We all headed down stairs and said our goodbyes. I hate goodbyes. Like whats so good about saying bye?
