3. war decisions

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As soon as he strode away down the hallway, Gillian felt her knees falter

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As soon as he strode away down the hallway, Gillian felt her knees falter. She took a staggering step and rested her hand on the modular for support. A suffocated moan escaped her trembling lips, and she pressed a fist to them, head low, eyes shut. She couldn't break down now. But she needed at least a moment to pull herself together.

Not only had she done everything wrong. Not only her stupid attempt to stop him had failed. Miserably. She also felt the worst scum on God's green earth for what she just did to him. She knew now she would have to take some bullets for him. Like she cared.

Tears stung her eyes and another moan climbed through her squeezed throat. Gosh! Why did she have to play rough? On him, of all people! Why couldn't she just be honest, apologize, let him know she'd acted only out of care and concern? Yeah, well. Like he would give a flying damn about that. Still! If she was already busted, honesty might have turned out a flotsam in this wreckage. But no! Of course! Daredevil Gillian would never play the sensitive card! That was for weaklings. And she was not weak. Well, there she was with her stupid tough pose! She'd only made it all even worse!

The gentle hand on her arm startled her. She spun around, to find Aldana closing the door as her hand moved to Gillian's back. They traded a look and reacted at the same time. Aldana held her tight. Gillian broke in tears, face hidden against Aldana's shoulder.

She needed several minutes to control herself. Aldana held her in silence. When she noticed that Gillian tried to calm down, she made her sit in the armchair and hurried to the water dispenser.

"Thanks," Gillian mumbled, accepting the paper cup full of fresh water.

Aldana handed her some tissues from Brock's desk.

She blew her nose when her phone buzzed. She took it from her pocket and scowled at the screen. "Shit!" she growled.

Aldana saw it was Cassidy. "Want me to take it?"

"No, it's okay." She rubbed her face, wiped away her tears and accepted the call.

"Jeez, move it away, Gillian!" was Cassidy's greeting.

She took the phone away from her ear and scowled at it again. She hadn't seen it was a video call, and Cassidy's face filled her screen.

"There you—What happened?" Oh, no, he noticed. Cassidy leaned forward to his computer. "Isn't that Brockner's office? Gillian! Troubles in loverland? So soon?"

She breathed in deep, not feeling at all in the mood for his teases. "Just a minute, sir." She looked up at Aldana. "Get the lads. I'll be there in five minutes."

"Got it."

When she faced the screen again, a suspicious frown had replaced Cassidy's smirk. "Okay. Brockner's not picking up and you look like shit. Anything I need to know, Gillian?"

"No, sir. My pressure just dropped."

"At his office. You're a lousy liar, Gillian. Or you're pregnant."

"What!? No! I just got suspended."

"Come again?"

She let out a heartfelt sigh. "I just snapped and totally disrespected Agent Brockner.

"What!? You would never disrespect him. And he would never suspend you."

"Well, there's always a first time, huh? But he was right. I was really outta place. He put up with my temper as much as he could. So this is all on me, sir. Blame it on my Irish blood. It's about a case."

"You two fought over a case?" Cassidy checked his watch and leaned back. "Okay, I'm all ears."

She frowned, taken aback. "What? Now?"

* * *

Cooper wasn't back yet, and the regular staff started to leave for the day. A thick silence filled the team's office while they waited for Gillian. Russell arrived when Fred handed out yet another round of coffee. A single look at the board and their faces was enough to know why Aldana had called him over in such a hurry.

Tanya gave him a flash drive with a quick grimace. "The files you asked," she murmured.

"Thanks. Where's Reg?"

"Still talking to Cassidy," Aldana replied.

"And it's taking way too long," Ron grumbled.

He was about to say something more when he noticed all the eyes moved to the door. Gillian walked in and closed the door. Talking to Cassidy had taken only a few minutes. Washing away the traces of her tears had taken much longer. She still looked pale and shaken, but her voice was firm as usual. And she didn't give room for questions.

"Okay, this is how things are gonna be," she said. "I'm officially off the case, but you lads aren't. So you'll stay on it." When the team argued and asked, her death glare was enough to silence them. "Jeez. Said officially. Mind your adverbs, would ya. Agent Brockner will lead the investigation, and you will work with him as if he were me, you got it?"

Russell frowned. "What did he do, Reg?"

Gillian shot a warning scowl at her friend. "He did nothing. At least nothing wrong."

"He kicked your ass off the case and you expect us to follow his lead?" asked Ron, not believing his ears.

"Jesus Christ! Grow up! There's some serious wacko out there, playing the serial! D'you think he's gonna stop now that he's escalated from paper to murder? You're the damn best team in town. Agent Brockner is the best profiler. So you're all gonna work together to catch this son of a bitch before bodies start piling up. Got it?" She breathed deep and softened her voice. "I really need you to do this, lads. Please. I want you tight around him. Help him crack the case and get this bastard."

The others traded a look, not convinced at all.

"C'mon, lads, you know me. I'll be around. Just not..."

"Officially," said Fred, and smiled. "I think I can do it. If there's a barbeque at your place, let's say... next weekend? We should be done with this by then."

"If there's a barbeque and Russell's in charge of the grill," said Hank.

"What about the things we didn't do today?" asked Aldana.

"What about tomorrow morning?" replied Gillian.

Kurt checked the time. "Sounds frigging perfect for me." He closed his computer and picked up his things.

The others moved to leave as well. Gillian waited for Ron to come closer and meet her eyes. They looked at each other without a word. Then Ron nodded with a slight smile.

On his way out, he whispered to her, "If Brockner makes you cry again, he's gonna need a good dental plan."

Gillian nodded, scoffing. She stopped Aldana. Another silent look, this time of understanding.

Aldana glanced at Russell and faced Gillian again with a wink. "You drill that hard skull. I'll smooth him out."

When they were all gone, she turned to Russell. He held her eyes dead serious. The team might have accepted her words, but he would need some extra explanations. He looked even angry. And not at her.

She put up the best smile she could manage. "Chinese? Thai?"

He frowned deeper. "You're not leaving?"

"I wanna wait for Cooper and see how her meeting went."

"What meeting?"

"Chinese, then?"

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