Stop The Pain

Alone

*Week Later*

I stared at the ceiling, gently touching my red cheek... The last place she touched me, then moved towards my lips, touching them gently, remembering the last time I kissed her.

I clenched her shirt, inhaling deeply, taking in her sweet scent. A few tears landed on Alianna's shirt, remembering the words that came out her mouth the last time we met.

****

Alianna's hand connected with my cheek, slapping me harshly. I bit my tongue, taking the pain "I deserve that," I said

Alianna stared at me, clearly angry and clearly drunk "Our wedding was supposed to be a few days ago Sawyer, A FEW DAYS,"

"WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED," I slightly nodded

"Do you know what the things your family said when I told them the wedding was off. THEY BLAMED ME" I sighed

"Psych, please just forgive me. I know I made a huge mistake and I wish I could take it back"

****

More tears started to form, ready to be released. I held the shirt tighter against my chest, staring at the blue tie-dye pattern and the Jurassic Park logo.

I took a deep breath, gently kissing the sleeve of the shirt. Tears ran down my face that I could no longer control

"I'm so sorry baby...," I continued to whispered to myself

My soft sobs filled the room, my heart breaking into a million pieces.

****

"I can't trust you anymore Sawyer," A sheet of glossy covered her eyes

I let a tear slip down my cheek, her words cracking the being of my existence.

I pressed my lips against her forehead, then pulled away. "I'm sorry baby girl, I'm so sorry," I stood up, staring at her face, then left.

****

"I love you Alianna, I made a mistake and now I'm going to regret that the rest of my fucking life," I cried softly into my pillow.

I cradle the shirt, rocking it back and forth, mumbling that 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

I felt a presence laying next to me, I turned, realizing it was Alianna. I stared for a long time before I wrapped my arms around her waist

"I'm so sorry, I'm so stupid," her arms reached out, pressing my head on her chest

"Please forgive me, I love you so much," Alianna said nothing, only playing with my hair

"Speak to me please," I begged, continuing to sob

I closed my eyes and reopen them, no one was by my side... I looked around for any sign that she was next to me, I couldn't find anything.

I curled up into a fetal position, using her shirt as a blanket. I looked around one more time, trying to prove to myself that she was here.

Yet I was alone... Alone in my room, without her, wanting so bad just to see her again. Just to touch and hold her, to tell her that I loved her, but I fucked that up and I can never fix that.