Look After Yourself (A teen titans fan-fic)

EP6: The Aftermath

I awoke some time later, a sharp throbbing pain shooting through my skull. I blinked my eyes open, exhaling heavily through the gag in my mouth. I was in a large room, obviously designed to block my powers because all I could sense was the small group of people that stood guard around me. I took a quick look to my sides, on my left, an unconscious Victor, on my right, nothing. Where's Arella, I thought, did something happen to her? A huge wave of guilt hit me, Victor, Arella, I had pushed them, made them do the things they'd done. Everything that had happened in that base was my fault.

The guards -who consisted of Raven, Beast, Starfire, the boy who had greeted us from the common room when we first got here, Trick, I think was his name, and a woman who seemed to be in her mid-thirties- seemed to notice my sudden consciousness and took up defensive positions, well all but one of them. Raven walked my way, a very stern look on her face, and I knew exactly why.

She took a deep breath before speaking, "I see you are awake, we have kept you in an unconscious state for the last five days, it was not until now that I sensed your powers were stable enough to allow you to wake." She said in a business type manner, keeping a recognizably cool facade. "Victor should wake up shortly, his powers stabilized at a similar rate to yours," she continued, approaching me, and standing above me menacingly, "Now, on to you. Your actions were irresponsible and dangerous. You killed three HIVE members and severely injured fifteen more. And while I admittedly don't care that you did that, you also forced my children to join in on your little spree of destruction, putting blood on their hands that they didn't need. You're just lucky Arella was faking it, and even though it seemed that you had, at least partially, regained control of your body, there was every chance that Rage could take it back. Lu and Beast-boy are in the infirmary. They will be fine, and thanks to me, they are recovering well. But that is only because you were too sadistic to kill them quickly." I looked directly into her eyes, and she glared back, it was obvious that she thought this was all my fault. I didn't try to deny it, it was, and I deserved everything I got.

"Rae, go easy Honey." Said Beast, putting a hand on her shoulder. My eyes darted up to him, bringing with it a wave of emotions I didn't want to have to deal with so soon afterwards. If I hadn't been able to stop myself, we would never have been able to have our lives together, his light would have been blotted out by me, our fates changed. He would have died hating me, he wanted me to go to hell. But that's where I should be, hell was the only place good enough for me.

In my zoned-out state I didn't notice the tears fall from my eyes, nor did I notice the orange-toned fingers wipe them away, "Raven," said Starfire, kneeling in front of me, "Please do not hate yourself." I let out an uneasy breath through my nose, blinking away a few tears, staring down at my hands that were still covered in Beast-boy's blood, "Robin is talking with Dick currently, he is trying to get extra work put into getting us home." She assured with a smile, "Everything is going to be fine. Can we remove the gag, please?" she asked, turning to Raven.

She shook her head, "Her emotions are still  unbalanced, I don't feel confident allowing her to have her full abilities back just yet."

Starfire turned back to me, but I nodded at her. I wasn't sure I could control myself either.

"You're probably wondering what happened after you blacked out?" Said Beast, smiling friendlily. That made my heart sink, my Beast-boy would be just as nice, he would forgive me completely, and that's not what I wanted. Not even close.

I nodded. "Well, Arella snapped out of it pretty soon after you got to Beast-boy and Marie's cage, I'm not entirely sure how, though she insists that she was in control the whole time. It wasn't long until you fell unconscious, Arella watched over you, seeing no real way to stop you, Marie managed to contact us, giving us their location, and a rough description of the situation. After that, they freed the Tamaranians, Victor was already unconscious, having, I assume, conquered his inner demon."

Beast chuckled, and Raven turned to look at him suddenly, "I'm sorry," he said, with a small smile, "I just really wish that was a metaphor." Trick and the woman chuckled, and she scowled at them, causing them to laugh slightly in response, "I'm sorry, I'll shut up." He said, trying to put on a serious expression, but not being able to contain the twitching of his lips into a small smirk.

She rolled her eyes, "Anyway, with Kori's help they got every T.T.A. student out of there mostly unharmed, though I can't say having to drag four unconscious bodies out of there helped matters."

"Hey, Rae," said the woman, she was tall and blonde, and strangely familiar. She called me Rae, so we were obviously close, where had I seen her? "Looks like Vic's coming to."

There was a groan from my left and Victor opened his green eyes. Glancing around the room, his eyes stopped, staring up at his mother with fear and shame. "Victor!" she growled at the young man who flinched at the sound, "How could you let yourself lose control like that? I thought I'd taught you better than that, than to give into a little bit of weak persuasion from a lost girl!"

He grunted, as if trying to speak, but the gag in his mouth prevented him from making any recognizable words. He closed his eyes, concentrating as hard as he could, sending a voice through the heads of everyone in the room. "Lu. Alright." Were the only two words he managed to convey before he flopped, exhausted but conscious, forward in his chair, panting heavily.

Ravens eyes widened, "Is that the reason?" she practically yelled at him, "Lu? Is that the reason you lost control?" She was almost beside herself, I looked up at her. She was mad at him for losing control over love, when that was exactly what I did, what she did. "You lost control over some stupid crush?" That's when it hit me. She doesn't know, I thought, looking between the two people.

"Rae, don't." Said Beast, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. He glanced at his son, who gazed back pleadingly, Beast nodded. He does know, I thought. They must be closer than I thought.

"Lu." Victor pushed, his face going slightly pale.

"She's going to be fine," said Raven with a sigh, "We got there soon enough, and  luckily for her, you hadn't caused her too much damage before you regained control of your body." He breathed out a heavy sigh of relief, "Don't let yourself off the hook that easy, you're in huge trouble." Said Raven sternly. He looked up at her, nodding to let her know that he knew exactly how much trouble he was in.

He closed his eyes again, "Need. See." He conveyed, looking pleadingly into his mothers unforgiving eyes, sweat beading on his brow from the exertion.

She sighed, rubbing her temples, "I don't know, Vic-"

"Please." This time it was not him but me, seeing the desperation in his eyes, and realizing I felt the same thing. I had to try.

She snapped her head over to me, my eyes pleading. "I-"

"Rae," said Beast, meeting my eyes for a split second, before focusing them on his wife, "Let them see. What harm can it do, other than to give them peace of mind?"

She glared at him for a moment before conceding, "You may see them, but if you make any move to hurt them, anything at all, I will personally take you down faster than you can say 'dead', is that clear?" We nodded.

"Should we go now?" asked Beast.

"It's as good a time as any I feel like they're not going to be able to meditate effectively until they've seem them." She walked over to me, signalling for Beast to untie Victor. She didn't bother with handcuffs, merely holding my hands behind my back. I glanced at Victor as we stood, he looked at me too, and I gave him my best 'I'm sorry' look, pleading for him to forgive me. He nodded, smiling against the gag. Raven shoved against me, pushing me toward the door. And I couldn't help but think maybe I had made a bad decision.