new things (jalex short story)

5

So there I was, sitting at the back of the school bus, I could feel a panic attack coming on. Which I'd rather not do, considering I had another in English, where I stayed it ten extra minutes while the teacher interrogated me about what was wrong, if it was the work, home stuff, if I'd be okay. Shit like that, that's none of her business- mostly because she wasn't my teacher, she was filling in for him.

But sitting on this bus basically next to me, was someone who I used to be great friends with. I don't know why we fell apart but she had really hard time last year and she started constantly getting angry at me. But its not like there was anywhere else I could've sat. So it was here or I could somehow left fifteen minutes early to walk to school. But then it was also raining, as much as I love rain, this hair took me about half an hour to perfect. I wasn't willing to fuck that up. Or even give up some of the time I needed to get it looking this good.

After the seemingly endless bus ride, I was one of the first to run off of the bus. I ran until I made it to my locker. I shoved my bag into the already crammed space then continued to run until I found myself at the bathrooms. I entered and locked myself in one of the stalls, which I had done just in time as I, one, felt the panic deep through my skin and out through my eyes, getting caught in my lungs and, two, someone came in. I tired to breathe quietly but then the footsteps seemed to stop after they got a few steps in.

"Jack?" I heard. I sat there in shock, "Jack, its Alex. Are you okay?" He asked. That made me feel a bit better, know it was him and not another other person. Not that these toilets were even busy enough for there to already be another person enter within ten seconds of me. Even if it was the start of the school day.

"Can you come out?" He asked quietly. Seeming a little upset himself. I wiped my face but it didn't matter, the tears were instantly replaced by more. I unlocked the door and slowly walked out, taking in his sad smile, looking at my tear stained face. He walked up to me and brushed them away, he gave me a reassuring smile as he put his hands on my shoulders, then engulfed me in a hug. I don't know what it was about him, any other person trying to touch me, or even talk to me, in this state wouldn't be able to without me completely freaking out. But he seemed to have this comfortable feel about him. I wrapped my arms around him tightly as I could smell his wonder scent that I know I'd be longing to smell until we hugged again.

He started rubbing my back, telling me to breathe, just generally calming me down. What is this I'm feeling. I don't know if I like this. But then again, I absolutely loved it. I could let him do this to me all day. I weakly smiled at him as he pulled away, although all I wanted to do was drag him back, closer to my body. But I knew I couldn't do that.

"What happened?" He asked as he jumped up on the bench. I did so too and took a deep breathe thinking of what to say.

"I-I I'm just having a horrible day,"

"Its not even nine yet," he told me, basically asking me to elaborate.

"Well my mother was yelling at me because I didn't do the washing in time and it was all still wet this morning. Although she told me to hang it outside instead of inside which was a whole other argument. And then because of it nearly missed the bus and I know she would've made me walk and I'd be in trouble for being late and I just feel horrible. I can't handle all of this. I-I," the tears started again, and I could feel my breathing quicken.

"Hey, hey, stop. Stop, it's okay. Come on, breathe. Calm down. It's okay," he said with a very concerned look on his face. He took my hands in his and tried to calm me down. Which definitely worked, "what this?" He asked looking at my thumbs which I must've screeched raw on the bus.

"Why did you do this?" He asked. I didn't even know I had. I looked at it in confusion, wondering when that happened.

"I- uh I," I tired to make a sting of words that made sense, "when did that happen?" I whispered