Rock Me Softly

Momma' Raised A Gentlemen

Noah’s POV

            I followed behind Ryder’s car, one hand on the steering wheel, and the other held up towards my mouth as I nervously bit at my finger nails.

            “I hope Callie’s okay. I didn’t know she was scared of hospitals, did you?” Pagan asked, turning her head slightly towards me in the passenger seat.

            I ignored her and shifted gears, gaining speed to keep up with Alex.

            I’d bet my life that Callie wasn’t afraid of hospitals. She was afraid of who was in the hospital… her mother. She probably didn’t want her mom to worry, or better yet, she didn’t want the other guys to find out about her mom.

            Personally I saw no problem with the other guys finding out, they might be able to help comfort her when she needed it. But Callie didn’t see it that way, she saw it as they would pity her; and one thing I learned about Callie… was that she hated to be pitied.

            And I could sympathize with her. When Callie first set up the appointment to get the other room in the apartment, and told me about her situation, I couldn’t help but to think of my own problem… my own secret. Callie was trying to save her mom… I was trying to save my best friend.

            Pagan sighed at my silence and spoke up once more, “Are we going to talk about what happened at the fair, Noah?”

            My heart started to race at her words and I cleared my throat, still not meeting her accusing eyes, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            Which was bullshit, because I knew exactly what she was talking about. In the mirrors, she had gotten lost, calling out my name and practically begging me to find her. And I did, we smacked heads as we both rounded the same corner. Somehow the humorous moment had turned into both of our heads drifting towards each other’s and our lips just a whisper away from the unknown.

            Truthfully, I have had feelings for my friend’s cousin since high school.

            “That’s bullshit, Noah, and you know it! We had a… there was a moment when-.”

            I cut her off, “Nothing happened, Pagan.”

            I saw her flinch from the corner of my eye and I felt like the biggest scum on earth.

            Her voice sounded hurt, “Something could’ve happened… if Zach wouldn’t have showed up. You were going to kiss me, Noah.”

            My jaw clinched as did my hands on the wheel, “If I remember correctly, you were going to kiss me.”

            She threw her hands up in exasperation, “Either way! Why are you acting like nothing happened?”          

            “Because nothing did happen, Pagan! I was caught up in the moment, it was a fluke. Trust me, it won’t happen again.”

            I shifted gears again as I saw a tear fall from her eyes, before she turned her head towards the window and crossed her arms.

            It was better this way. She and I would never work. I was too damaged, and she was too innocent. I couldn’t hurt her. I won’t.

            Silence filled the car the rest of the way to the apartment complex, before I pulled my car in behind of Ryder’s and cut the ignition.