Sadie & Who?

9 ~ I Love You

After that day I tried not to make contact with Robert. I was so torn about what happened to me that another week was thrown in the trash of training. I took care of Ozzy all that week. I had to find some rubbing alcohol so I could clean his wound, and it was hard not having Lance, the spy, helping you out all the time. While trying to help Ozzy, I was mourning over Lance. Daisy helped a little bit. The morning after Lance died, me and Daisy woke up to find no sign of his body. He was gone. I've cried every night since then.

After a week of mourn, and helping Ozzy, Daisy finally had enough. "Alright, we can't change anything that happened. All we can do is move on. Let's try and forget about that day, and train. If we don't we'll die." She rubbed my shoulder. I didn't even tell her that I got raped. "I can't just move on from everything Daisy." I shook my head, got up from my bed, and went to go train.

I was outside for about an hour when I was disturbed by Robert walking out, "Hey baby." He said holding his phone in his hand. I rolled my eyes and continued training. "What? You don't wanna watch our sex tape me?" I stopped in my tracks, "What are you talking about?" I walked closer to him, and he showed me the video of him raping me. "I blocked out your annoying voice." I grabbed his phone and threw it on the ground. "HEY! Don't get me mad, bitch." He picked up his phone and went inside. I sat down on the ground and cried for awhile until I thought of what he might do with that video. 'Ozzy.' I thought and my mouth dropped open. I got up and ran inside to my room. "OZZY!" I shouted running in. Tears started coming down my face as I saw Robert showing the video to him. "YOU ASSHOLE!" I screamed as loud as I could and ran over to him. I punched him in the nose and before he could fight back I kicked him. He groaned, "you bitch." He punched me back and Ozzy jumped up, "HEY! Get off her!" He screamed and Robert stormed out of the room. "Ozzy I'm so sorry, you have to believe me." Ozzy put his hands on my face and I sat down on the bed, "Are you hurt?" He asked, concerned. "I'm fine, listen to me." He let go of me, "Good, now you can get out." I started to cry once more until the words finally poured out of my mouth, "He raped me." I took a deep breath and Ozzy turned to look at me. He had a surprised look on his face. I continued crying and he hugged me. "Sadie, I'm sorry I didn't know that." I looked up at him, "I want him dead." I said with an angry look on my face. I immediately stopped crying after I said that to him. I did want him dead, he doesn't deserve his life. I don't deserve this life. I never knew this would happen to me, it doesn't even seem real. "So do I." Ozzy said as I lay down next to him on the bed. He played with my hair and I hugged him.

About a week went by and I trained my hardest during that time. As I trained I thought of little ways to kill Robert. Today I felt crazy. 'What is wrong with me? I would never kill someone.' Although it did seem crazy, that didn't mean I didn't want to do it. If you think about it, he kills 9 people every year and never gets caught because we're underground. So if I killed him I would get away with it too. It's crazy because I know that I'm way to scared to do such a thing. So the fact that I thought about this, scared me.

Fortunately, Ozzy was getting better. He could walk, but he couldn't run, jump or do anything like that. It was  hard without his assistance because I had to make up training on my own. Daisy came to my section everyday and trained with me everyday though, so it wasn't that bad. Ozzy checked on us a few times while me and her trained together. "So when do you think the competition will be?" Daisy asked as we took a break. "I dunno, I think it's in a year." She nodded her head and played with the grass. I was scared too.

I decided it'd be best not to tell Daisy that I got raped. I don't really know why it was a good idea to me, but it was. Then I wouldn't have to  hear her advice, her pity for me, and I could just forget it. I mean I love her and all, but I don't want to be thinking about it all the time.

Daisy didn't sleep in our room that night and I was sort of happy because I could get alone time with Ozzy. "I feel horrible, Sadie." He said as he turned his body towards me while we lay on the bed. "I don't wanna hear it, Oz. I'm sorry I just wanna stop thinking about it." He moved closer to me and I did the same. "I understand." He sighed and lay on his back. I put my arm on top of him and hugged him and he put his arm around me. "Time?" I asked. "9:47 pm" he said. "Really? I'm so tired." I yawned. "Yep." He then mumbled something, thinking I couldn't hear, "Goodnight gorgeous." I looked up at him and blurted out, "I love you." He smiled at the ceiling, then at me, "I love you so much." He said. I laughed and started tearing up. Although I got kidnapped, raped, and I'm basically trapped in darkness there's always something that makes me the happiest girl alive, and that's Ozzy.