Poems By A Clueless Girl

A Goodbye to a Best Friend

I thought you were my forever
I thought you were my Lifetime Channel
With endless story arcs of love and hate
Watching for hours on end until our eyes need to readjust
Need a break from crying softly out of the pit in my stomach
That churns with every heartbreak you heal me from
But in show time
to you
I was only made to stay the length of one episode
Maybe YOUR welcomed with the sanity to see
That being unchained and free
From the likes of ME
Is something to commemorate dry eyed
While I'm balling on my knees
Cradling the tears as if
if I let one slip by depressingly
Then they too will leave
Moistening my salty cheek
Warming me up to the point where I let it sink like this sad
 sad
 leaking ship
 deep inside my skin
Becoming one with my blood as if they are long lost pals
Cause that's what you wanted for us
right?
Blood relation
Connection
So brainwashed into believing that when you said
"I can't imagine a life without you, your my best friend, my sister"
You couldn't help but believing it too
You somehow bleached my elementary school tirade of jealousy
Until my childhood roots were nothing more than empathy for YOU
Until I turned dirty blonde to complement your sandy
dessert eyes
You gave me a reason not to talk about you when you turned your back
Like all the little girls from my neighborhood taught me to do
But what could I possibly say that'd contradict your porcelain skinned love
CRACK
 CRACK
 CRACK
Its broken again
But who's to say there's even a right side to the coin
When I fall in love with tails
Yet both sides are rolling heads?
Because your just
 so
 Two-faced
But I won't forget the best parts
When we found a stray bus yellow shopping cart
And splatter it with paint and smiley faced stickers
Rolling in it down the street
Of the place we've both learned to call home
Then the worst days
When my father dies
And you wrap me up in a blanket burrito
And make me watch the episode of That 70's Show when Eric runs over Donnas cat
The way you have now run down my heart
But we had just sat there
in comfortable silence
Until our eyes dry clearly enough just to see it to the very end
Our top notch finale
Where heartfelt goodbyes and broadening hellos reach an intersection
Except YOUR goodbye was 42 texts
Explaining why YOU needed warmer hellos
And I
Shouldn't shed a tear for someone whose already miles up the road
But
I will still let myself feel for now
I will mourn the way Donna mourns for Mr. Bonkers in season 2 episode 20
While you
I hope
won't forget that I once meant something to you