He Has a Brother!?

Chapter 4

I woke not even a few minutes later to a bunch of small voices singing. I sit up looking at where to noise came from....a bunch of gnomes. They climbed up my dresser and started pulling out my underwear....'sick weirdos.' I slowly went to get out of bed until one of the gnomes looked at me. "OH SHIT HE'S AWAKE!" "What?!" "This kid is AWAKE! What the fuck do we do?!" They yelled as I stood from my bed. "Oh fuck!" "I guess we gotta kill him!" "All right, fuck it, let's kill him." They said as they came toward me. I reach behind my nightstand and pull out my baseball bat.

I soon defeated the gnomes. They stood back up yelling. "Shit, he's to big (p.s. That's what she said) we can't beat him!" "Well if you can't beat him shrink him. Go ahead warlock." A gnome yelled as the warlock stepped forward throwing some weird powder on me, causing me to shrink...sadly now I'm smaller then the gnomes, luckily my bat shrunk with me. We engaged in battle again. Soon I was holding a bloody bat and the gnomes was on the ground and the warlock ran away. I followed through the mouse hole and chased after the gnome. I had to beat and kill a few rats which again was a lot bigger then me. I soon walk into the vent, I heard voices....mom and dad was talking. I listened as they talked about Dov...what can't we find out about? I then heard sounds something that sounded like grunting and moaning. I peeped through the vent slots.....let's just say they was doing the 'nasty'. I quickly proceeded through the walls until I found a light switch. I quickly crawled through to see a much bigger picture of mom and dad.....NASTY NASTY NASTY! THEY STILL DOING THE NASTY! I quickly turned my attention to the gnomes that was raiding my parent's drawers. "Oh shit, the kid is still following us!" "He's not gonna stop until he finds a way to become normal size again! That means he's after YOU, Warlock!" "What?! Ah, FUCK!" He yelled, running off as the other three gnomes engage in battle. Let's just say afterwards, I had dry and fresh blood on my bat and pajamas. "I'M NOT CHANGING YOU BACK! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!!" He yelled as I chased him onto my parent's bed. "You couldn't just let it go, could you?! You couldn't just let us take your underpants! Nooo, you had to go and start asking QUESTIONS! Well, now you shall see the true power of an underpants gnome!" He yelled engaging in combat...right under my parents. Soon, I defeated him. "All right! All right, you win!!! Take this!" He yelled as I stood right over him, my bat raised to hit him. He handed me a small bag full of dust. "Take it! You can grow big or small whenever you feel like it! All we wanted was to collect underpants to stop Taco Bell from releasing toxic green goo into our underground world! You see the green goo is actually a-" He froze and screamed as a breast fell on him. I quickly flipped out of the way to avoid dad's balls. I quickly returned to my room and grew back to normal size, cleaned my bat, changed my clothes and went back to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I slowly open my eyes and got out of bed and put on my white and blue dress.

I also put on my eyeshadow, strawberry lipgloss, and my makeshift crown. I picked up my bag and ran down stairs with my wolf like companion behind me. Not long after, my phone vibrated. It's a message from Kyle, something about a meeting at the elven kingdom. I look up to see my older brother staring at me. He gently grabbed my hand, guiding Shira and I outside to see Stan waiting for us. We all hurried to the elven kingdom. We walk into Kyle's back yard to see everyone else already there. "Ah, Commander Douchebag and Princess Anon has decided to bless us with their presence...Let's get started..." Kyle turned to his laptop as Dovahkiin leads Shira and I to the seat next to Stan, as he sits next to Cartman. Kyle then begins giving a speech about Clyde's fortress, until Cartman begins giggling and talking to Butters. "You have something to say, wizard?" Kyle asked, obviously annoyed. "Nothing. Just think it's kind of funny how drow elves in the Middle Ages can use Powerpoint." Cartman giggled. "You guys, this is SERIOUS. Clyde is attempting to raise an army of darkness. I believe he is messing with something he cannot control. He has recruited many of our friends and so...Our only hope is for our two factions to join forces." Kyle explained. After a short moment of silence. "FUCK THAT. We do not team up with fucking ELVES." Cartman argued. "You got a better idea, wizard fat ass?!" Stan yelled. "After what you elves did to us at the Battle of Wormsly Woods?! You think we'll ever trust you?!" Butters yelled back. "Yeah, you tell 'em Butters." "That was Jimmy's fault and he apologized." "Oh oh we're apologizing now? How about we apologize for braking the rule about using arcane fire magic?" "Yeah." "HEY! That was the humans rule, not ours!!!" Chris yelled. "Join forces my Paladin ass! Only good elf is a dead elf!" Butters yelled before looking at me as I looked at the ground. Stan and Dovah both put a hand on my shoulders before giving them a firm squeeze. I looked up at them and Jimmy slightly and smiled. "Why don't you s-s-suck my elven d-dick, Butters?" Jimmy said, before returning his gaze to me. "Enough! Whether we are human or elf isn't going to matter ONE BIT if all of Zaron is taken over by GERMAN ZOMBIES! We SAW what that green stuff does. We BETTER figure out a way to stop Clyde or there won't be a world to fight in." "Even if we join forces, we won't have enough warriors." Stan said. "So we recruit more factions to join us. The Pirates. The Federation. And- the Girls." Kyle said, reluctantly. "The Girls!" Butters gasped. "Kyle, the girls are not going to fuckin' play with us." Cartman said. "Yeah dude, we can't convinced the girls to do this." Stan replied. "No, but maybe the New Kids can." Kyle said, gesturing to my brother and I. "Douchebag has a power we have yet to understand. He makes friends on Facebook faster than any we have seen. And Anon acts somewhat like a girl so he should be able to help reason with them." Kyle pointed out. "He really is good at getting Facebook Friends, I'll give him that." "Find a way to get the girls to side with us, Commander Douchebag. I'll deal with the other factions...The rest of you return to your stations and prepare for war." Kyle said, as everyone yelled. "HUZZAAHH." They cheered picking up their chairs as Dovahkiin and I stood up. I frowned as Kyle, Stan, Jimmy, Butters, Kenny, and Cartman followed Dovahkiin to the Porch before Dov stopped, turned and gestured me to follow. I smiled and rushed both Shira and I over to them. Kyle looked a little worried about me coming along. We wondered for a bit until we walked by City hall. "That's my Justin Bieber doll." I heard a voice say. I froze, my ears twitching as I listen closely for the girl again. I then heard 3 other girls insulting and bullying the young blonde girl. I looked at the girl before realizing, they're going to make her cry. I look at where the others was heading to see that they had already rounded the corner, not noticing that Shira and I stop. I looked both ways before crossing the street approaching the older girls. "Who's this, asshole?" One of the girls said, as the others two turn to me. They dropped the doll and made their way toward me. I slowly reached into my bag and triggered a smoke bomb that I stole from Dovah. As the smoke surrounded us I quickly took out the three older girls and made my way to the blonde who was picking up her toy. "I hope they didn't break it." She said as she pulled the string causing the toy to vibrate. She let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks..." She trailed off gesturing for my name. I opened my mouth to reply, but was cut off. "Anon!" I heard a voice yell from behind me. I turned to see the guys running (or in Cartman's case waddling) down the street. "I-I-I'm A-A-Anonymous but people call m-me A-Anon and this P-pretty snow p-p-princess is Shirahime." I stuttered turning back to her. Dovahkiin walked up to me and the girl before handing her a letter. "What is this? The boys want us to play with them?!" Annie said unsure before looking at me. "I DO owe you one... I can take you to the girls...but I don't think they'll be willing to play with boys. Do you wish to speak to the girls now?" She asked. I nodded as she got out a blindfold but Dovah stopped her. I sighed before looking at Annie. "Can you please at least bring my Brother with me...Please?" I said giving her big puppy eyes. She blushed before pulling out another blindfold. "Thanks Annie." I smiled as she blindfolded Dovahkiin and I as Annie lead Shira, Dovahkiin, and I toward the girls.