First Snow

chapter eleven

jimins pov-

We all woke up the next day to see that the rain has calmed for a bit . With each of us being broken or worried in our own ways , we all went to a small restaurant that was a few miles away where we all were staying . It was comforting in some way to people who were new to it , but for all of us it was just a small building that tried to put our thoughts into a chest . I sat next to Namjoon and tried not to make any eye contact with anyone at the table , it was already uncomfortable . I scanned everyone's faces quickly and saw that they were all tired and thinking of other things rather than on what they will eat this morning . My eyes stopped at someone , Yoongi .

Just by looking at him for a split second you could see all of the emotions that he was trying to hide . Distress , being broken , but the 'emotion' that his face that hurt me the most was his emptiness . It hurt so much just seeing him like this . I felt something go down my cheek along with Taehyung saying my name . It all felt distant for me . I looked at Taehyung and saw his face looking at me with worry . I quickly scanned my eyes over the others and they all were worried as well . I quickly got up and said that I needed some fresh air . I started walking to the door , but I heard footsteps behind me . Once the door was opened and I was out in the sprinkling rain , I turned around to see Namjoon hyung . He seemed stressed at the moment , but then looked at me with a stern face that was slightly filled with concern .

He asked me if I was alright and if I was comfortable on telling him what was wrong . I broke down once again . "I'm so stupid ." I said over and over again while he comforted me with one of his hugs . My heart felt like it was being torn out of my body, even that would be better than how I currently feel, it was a never ending pain like how Sisyphus felt when he would never die when the vultures fed off of his organs and skin . Never ending pain and torture that was put by a god of all gods . Zeus will help many , but injure others as well . Just how I felt when I could only think of him . The vultures are eating me alive over and over again . Just because of a mistake of not loving Yoongi .

The vultures were put there to give me the pain of thousands of people . With Zeus laughing at my pain for doing something horribly wrong . I tried to tell Namjoon this but nothing came out , just hiccups and sob,over and over again, like a children's rhyme. With a small miracle , he understood what I was trying to say and was comforting me even more than before . I felt dirty like I have sinned . I tried to push him away and once I succeeded , I saw a figure running out of the restaurant to the sea that was the landscape for the painted portrait of today so far . It was Yoongi . I tried to call out to him and run after him , but nothing came out . I was once again being pushed down by the big boulder , like Sisyphus . Out of the corner of my eye , I saw another body run after him . It was Jungkook .

Rage filled my mind and body . I wanted to punch Jungkook for going after Yoongi . I wanted to hurt him , but I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked back to see Namjoon giving me a look that was saying that I should not be thinking of deceiving thoughts and just open my eyes to see that Jungkook was there to help Yoongi . 'But why did I feel jealous of Jungkook? I was the one who did the actual sin.' I calmed a bit and went back to my broken self that I turned into yesterday . No one can help me now , only my angel who was in pain as well , Yoongi please forgive me .

yoongi's pov -

I saw how everyone was not the best this morning . With the depressing weather and with the events that happened yesterday , we were all tired in our own ways . I tried to keep my head down or concentrate on the menu , but nothing worked . I heard Taehyung's voice call for Jimin and I looked up to see Jimin walking out in tears and Namjoon going out to comfort him . Rage entered me and I slammed my fist on the table , which caught everyone's attention . Jungkook tried to speak to me , while the others tried to calm me down . I could only see my vision fading away and feel my blood pulsating at an alarming pace .

I got up and ran out of the restaurant to see out of the corner of my eye , Jimin pulling away from Namjoon and hear Jungkook's voice calling out to me . I kept on running until I was close to the seashore . All I could hear was my unstable breathing and Jungkook saying over and over again if i was okay . I screamed . I screamed and yelled in anger . I started to kick the sand everywhere and throw whatever I could find into the sea . Jungkook frantically tried to stop me but i pushed him away . I saw him fall onto some glass and look at me with pain and horror in his eyes . He quickly got up and pushed me to try to get me out of this rage .

It got me even more worked up that I did something I never thought I would do to Jungkook . I punched him . My fist charged at him in such a quick motion that the pain in my knuckles got to me a few seconds after I had done the damage . He looked down and spit some blood out of his mouth . He looked at me in a way that i have never seen him . He wanted me to be in pain as well . Once I realized it , he had already swung at me . I could only hear a ringing noise when I fell down to the sand .

I heard faint yells and some screams , but they didn't matter to me . All I wanted was to sleep and never wake up again . I then closed my eyes and dropped my head into the wet sand . I was out and somewhere else , not coming back for a few hours or days or weeks , but it was enough for me to finally dream of me having my lover in my arms , with everything being extravagant . But then again , it was only a dream that will never happen again.