jimin's pov
i put my luggage on the carpeted floor of maria's old room in america . her mother said i could stay in her room as long as i wanted . she's so sweet and caring for someone who just lost their husband .. i plopped myself onto her grey bed sheets and sighed . i checked my phone and saw messages from everyone and notifications from social medias . i turned off my phone and sighed . i looked around her old bedroom and saw some stuffed animals and a notebook labeled art . i raised and eyebrow and opened it curiously . inside i saw drawings of all of us . each page was a drawing of us until i stopped at the sixteenth page . it was a face .
the lips were only drawn and i stared and the drawing in horror .
the girl in the picture seemed to be beaten up . by only seeing the lips , neck , and chest i could tell the emotions that were poured into the sketch . the colors were a variety of reds and bruise colors . i would need to ask her mother about this later on . i looked at the drawing once again and put back the notebook where it was . i heard her mother's voice weakly call out to me saying it was time for dinner . i went to the kitchen and saw the variety of hispanic foods on the table . i smiled at her and said thank you . i sat down and we started to eat . after a few minutes i asked her mother about the drawing . her eyes softened and looked sad .
once she started talking about the reason behind the drawing , my eyes started to tear up . i never knew those things about maria . a tear slipped out and hit the table . i wiped my eyes and looked at her mother . she was crying a bit and smiled a bit towards me in a sad way . i grabbed a napkin and gave it to her . she thanked me and said i was a good person . once we finished i helped her with putting everything away and washing dishes . i was humming while wiping the dishes clean and saw an old photo on the wall . it was two children and three adults in the photo . her father was smiling widely while he put his arm around his daughters . they all seemed so happy . i walked over to the photo and smiled at it . i went back to cleaning the dishes and once i finished i said goodnight to her mother and went back to maria's room .
i went into the restroom and started to turn the shower on . i opened up a drawer and saw an old knife with dry red smudges on the blade . i picked it up and started at it closely . i gasped and threw the knife into the trash can . i looked down to my hands and saw dried red stains that were left on my hands . i gasped in horror and washed my hands vigorously . i looked back into the drawer and saw many other knives in there as well . i slowly picked one up and put the tip of my finger on the blade . with a slight touch it cut my finger and i started to bleed . i widened my eyes and stared at the blood that was going down my finger .
i felt like i was in a trance . once i got out of the trance i saw the knife was next to my wrist . my heart stopped and i threw the knife quickly into the trash can . i carefully grabbed the others and threw them all away . i reminded myself that i need to talk to maria tomorrow . i took off my clothes and took a cold shower . once i got out and put on my pajamas , i went back into the room and sighed . i turned off the light and got under the covers . i stared at the ceiling and closed my eyes to fall asleep . i miss you guys ..
thank you for reading
-maria 🌺
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First Snow
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