I'm the Trickster Now (JohnDave)

(Very AU. Dave is a woman.)

John thought that he was the trickster in this relationship, eh? He thought wrong.

I decided to take advantage of  my husband being on business travel for two and a half months. I missed him like hell, but that wouldn't stop me from having a little bit of fun.

He was scheduled to arrive home at seven, so I started to prepare things an hour before. I placed two empty pregnancy test boxes on the bathroom counter and put on some sweats. After I'd tied my hair up and started to munch on Doritos dipped in peanut butter, I blew up a balloon and stuck it under my shirt. I waited on the bathroom floor, hoping that he'd find me and be shocked that he'd "knocked me up."

It wasn't long before the dogs started barking, alerting me that someone was coming down the driveway. I was actually starting to think that this odd snack I was eating so bad when I heard the front door open.

"Dave? You home?" John called. I could hear the excitement in his voice and his quick footsteps across the house.

"In the bathroom," I yelled back, trying to sound a bit ill. Was two months enough time for the sickness to start? I didn't know. I had to keep the humor out of my voice when he started running for the lavatory. Of course I was happy that he was home, and of course I wanted to tackle him in a huge hug, but I had to stay in character.

I'd left the door open, so he was given a full view of my belly. I saw his face pale and his eyes widen as he glanced back and forth between the pregnancy tests and my stomach.

I made my voice tremble as I spoke. "I-I was so scared to tell you... The, the doctor says it's twins... Please, John, don't me upset with me!" I turned to him and started begging on my knees. "We didn't mean to, right? I know we just got married, but this wasn't planned-" I made my voice crack as put my head in my hands. "I don't know what we're going to do."

"Dave," he said slowly. I refused to look up at him. I did, however, flinch when he shouted, "Dave!!"

"I'm so sorry," I fake cried.

"No, no!" he rushed out and hurried over to me. John hugged my shoulders tight to his chest and squeezed me tight. "This is wonderful news! We're... We're going to be parents!"

Huh?

I hadn't expected him to act like this. I thought he'd be horrified and scared shitless. Not overjoyed and ecstatic.

"You're not upset?" I questioned, gaping at him.

"How could I be upset over something as amazing as this?" His grin was huge. "I can't wait to start thinking of names!"

Words could not describe how awkward it was when he bent down and started speaking to the balloon under my shirt. "Hello my little angels. I'm your daddy." That went on for a good few minutes, but I lost it when he started to coo.

I burst out laughing, startling John. He stuck his tongue out at me and rolled his eyes. "What, I can't talk to my kids?"

"What kids?" I snorted. He looked confused for only a second, which was how long it took me to lift up my shirt and take the balloon out.

"What?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Got you," I smiled. "It's adorable how excited you got though. You'd really be okay with children?"

He didn't respond, though I did note the blush on his cheeks. He was probably shocked that I'd pranked him. I let out a little laugh at the thought.

"C'mon, I made dinner." I got up from the floor, dragging him with me. We sat down at the table together and started to eat, but he still didn't say anything.

"Are you upset with me now?" I asked nervously.

"No..." he murmured. "I think I'm disappointed."

I gave him an odd look. "Why would that be?"

"I think..." He trailed off. "I think I want you to be pregnant. The thought of little munchkins running around sounds so amazing."

I blinked once. Twice. Three times. We'd never talked about having kids before, but my smile couldn't have been bigger. I leaned across the table and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips.

"I think so too," I hummed. "So I figure we both know what we'll be doing after dinner?"

I should have seen his devious smirk coming. "Or now."

I laughed a little and got up from my chair. "Race you to the bedroom!"

"You're on!"

Fin.

Got this from a prompt from here: otpprompts.tumblr.com