39 Days

Princess

When I was younger my dad always told me I was his little princess, and I always would be. He told me this to comfort me when my mom was sick. She was sick often, and couldn't do much, couldn't say much. But she wasn't always that way, a lot of days she was happy and fought through it. Some days she just couldn't.

My dad made sure I was never sad, and that I had something to cheer me up. And that was his way of doing it, reassuring my presence and making sure I knew that he loved me. I learned to love my dad so much and never left his side.

That was ruined the day I told him I wanted to go by myself.

He was so torn that I ran off without giving him a notice, and the fact that it happened more than once I don't think an apology would've fixed it.

I felt too guilty to even mention it to him.

...
I saw my dad standing over me now. Tears running down his face. I wanted to tell him sorry, but I couldn't speak. Our eyes locked and I felt okay for a minute, that maybe he forgave me for my silent apology. I won't know though.

The look in his eyes, the shattered and torn expression I saw, was enough to make me drown in regret of everything I ever did to him.

I doubt he would ever forgive me, he was stubborn, but he loved me anyways.

All he ever wanted to do was protect me from the dangers in the world, and I didn't care about that. I didn't believe in those dangers he warned me about. I wasn't scared.

Just seeing him as panicked as he was in front of me was scaring me though. I still had no clue what was going on. Nothing was clear to me, my senses were out of order. Some days I could hear, some days I could see, some days it was nothing at all. All I could do was wait, and think up any imaginable ideas as to what was happening.