Everything is still dark. Can't feel. Can't see. Can't move.
All I can do is think. I can't help but think about the things my mom said to me. She wants me to be careful with Ian. He would never hurt me, I couldn't believe that. There's no way he'd be able to break my heart, not after everything we've had. We crushed on each other in highschool although we didn't really talk unless it was at the market. The market holds all of the memories, every ride home was something different with Ian and his terrible jokes. We'd mess around in the field as teenagers and the amount of times we ran from my dad was abundant. There's no way he'd hurt me.
My mom also said she watched over my father a lot. He must be so lonely without me home, so I hope moms spirit is enough company. Last time we talked he seemed healthy, he says he spends most of his time at the market now with the Green's and it makes him happy. I should go visit him soon with the girls, I think that would make him a little happier than being around fruits and vegetables.
Ian hasn't been the same since the army. Each time he comes home it seems that there's another weight on his shoulders and I feel so bad about it. As his personality shows, he will not admit it to me but he's not okay. He's turning into a different Ian, one that I certainly didn't fall in love with. I want to help, but it's hard to when he won't open up. I know he wants to be strong for the girls but faking a smile only gets him so far.
I can only take so much before I break, and I'm sort of thankful that Ian is on duty so that he can get away and so that I can help myself and do more for the girls.
YOU ARE READING
39 Days
Fiksi UmumI call this a beautiful journey of my lifeless existence. I don't know what's happening, but I seem to be living my life all over again, in my mind. It feels so real but seems like a dream to me. I'm confused, lost, worried, but I hope to find answe...
