Dear ____,
You sometimes give me hope, my love. Through fleeting actions and unspoken words.
Sometimes, I catch you looking at me. As soon as I see you, you smile knowingly and look away. It makes my heart race. It makes me wonder if you could actually feel something for me.
When you look at me, I sometimes see your gaze drop – to below my eyes. Could you be thinking the same thing as me? Or is it just wild hope?
But hope is dangerous. It can make us take risks, risks which could ruin everything.
Sometimes you sit close to me, and find every excuse to touch me. My heart accelerates, I enjoy the moment, savouring every touch, longing to cross the invisible barrier. It gives me hope –
Then I see you with others. I see you do exactly the same thing, sit as close to them as you do to me, touch them in the same way you touch me. And my heart breaks.
In these moments I realise that the future I see can never be possible, that I can never cross the transparent line which keeps us both safe. Safe from me.
But sometimes – sometimes I think you are about to tell me something. I see the thought come into your mind, the words to your lips, then stop. You never cross the threshold, just as I never cross mine.
And so it goes on.
Yours Forever,
N
