Neighbors

What have I done...

~ Marshall's POV ~

Tina had walked out of my home studio and closed the door behind her, leaving me sitting on the floor, confused as fuck. I really thought she would leave me, scratch that I knew she would leave me, but once again she'd proved me wrong. To be completely honest, I didn't know nor could I even understand the tiniest bit how she could still keep up with all the shit I was throwing her way. I knew I couldn't if I'd be in her shoes, I already would've left her, but I guess that's what true and unconditional love is. Fuck she was so forgiving, so compassionate, so damn caring when it comes down to my cursed ass....

And I still can't stop to fuckin' hurt her....

I pulled my legs up again to honestly sulk a little more in my damn imperfection, but then I remembered what she'd asked me to do.

Don't you dare to disappoint her, even with the tiniest things, dumbfuck!

I stumbled to my feet and after I had taken a deep breath, I walked out of the studio, but stopped at my desk and looked at the engagement ring I'd bought for her.

Damn I wanted to ask her to marry me and now everything's in fuckin shards....

I grabbed the box, stuffed it in my sweatpants pocket and continued my way towards our bed- and bathroom.

I had managed to not make any noise while I walked past the living room, where she was sitting with her Mom and sister and I could hear them laughing. I wondered shortly how she could do this, how she could cope and swallow the pain I'd caused her and sit down with her family and laugh.

She told you! She would do anything for you, asshole!!

I stepped into our bedroom and after I'd closed the door behind me, I stared at our bed for a good amount of time. I wouldn't sleep alone in it tonight, maybe I wouldn't be allowed to hold her, but she still will be at my side. I could feel tears threatening my eyes again and after a few deep breaths I managed to hold them in. I'd promised her to calm down and that's what I had to do.

After I'd grabbed fresh clothes; and had thought for a second to burn the ones I was wearing so she didn't have to at least see them anymore, I walked out of my closet towards the bathroom, but something stopped me at her bedside. I removed the covers a little, pulled the box with her ring out of my pocket, placed it in the middle of her pillow and pulled the covers up again. I wanted her to have that ring, even if she wouldn't want to marry me or wear it on her ringfinger, she should have it.

This ring is like she is.....perfect! It was made for her.

The second I had decided in LA, 2 days after the concert, to ask her to spend the rest of her life with me, I had went to a jeweler and when I saw that ring I knew it was hers. No one knew about my plan and damn now I was glad as fuck about it. I didn't even want to think about the embarrassment, to tell them why I couldn't ask her. I pushed down the urge to bash my head into the wall, turned around and walked into the bathroom to shower and get ready.

"There you are." Tina said with a small smile when I walked 20 minutes later into my, our, living room. She was sitting alone on one of the couches while Rita and Moni sat together on the other. I actually didn't know what to do, say or where to sit, so I stood awkwardly at the door but thankfully my girlfriend saved my ass. "Can you help me to get us all something to drink?" She asked me while she stood up and I nodded repeatedly and followed her into the kitchen. "Can you at least try to act normal?" She asked me while she opened the fridge and handed me a few bottles.
"I am tryin', I just...." I didn't want to talk on and bother her, but with Tina it was useless. She never pressured me to talk about my work, family matters, etc. but if it came down to my feelings and if something was bothering me, she wanted to know, only to help me.
"You just what?" She asked softly and tilted her head lightly, looking expectingly at me with her mesmerizing blue eyes.
"I don't know how to act around you," I admitted quietly, "I don't know if I'm allowed to touch you, even sit beside you.....I just don't know what to do." I ended and she stepped in front of me and pressed a soft kiss on my lips.