Hazel Eyes | Lashton

Chapter Eight

Possibly triggering
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"Oh I was thinking 'bout killing myself, don't you mind?" -Me (The 1975)

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"Cal?" Luke stepped inside their shabby apartment and shook out his hair from the beanie on top his head. He had major hat hair but didn't really care because Calum is Calum - his best friend since they were in diapers. The sun had dipped down over the city by the time Luke had skateboarded back home and the chill in the air seemed to go straight through Luke causing him to shiver.
"Luke! Hi. I got your favorite pizza. Here." He gives him a hug, crushing the younger - but immensely taller - boy.
"Calum. I know you're stalling. If you love me, just tell me what you did. Okay?" Calum pulls away and his normally tan skin is paler.
He gulps. "Just, don't yell at me. Or cry." At this point Luke freaks out a little on the inside because what the fuck did Calum do. Was it one of his cameras? His computer? His-
Oh. Luke stops dead in his tracks when he sees his All Time Low Nothing Personal vinyl lying on the ground shattered into pieces.
"Calum." He cries bending down to cradle the slick black pieces in his hands. "How did you possibly manage to do this? I hid it from you for a reason, you know?" Luke gathers up all the pieces he can and holds back his tears because he is eighteen years old.
Calum awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. "I was looking in your room for something and came across the box of like CDs and vinyls and stuff. I'm really sorry Lukey. I didn't mean for it to break." Luke looks up from his hands to see his other possessions laid out on the coffee table.
"Fuck Calum. You could've broken them all. Don't touch my stuff. Jesus." Luke places the pieces in a bowl and places his other valuables back into their place in the box.
"I'm getting a safe for my room." Calum just laughs because Luke always said that but never actually does. "Yeah yeah yeah. Laugh all you want. Go put in The Wizard Of Oz and bring me my damn pizza." Calum happily obliges even though he hates the movie but it's Lukes' favorite and he needs to make up breaking one of his most prized possessions. The movie is good and as cheesy as the pizza that the two are eating and Calum is deep asleep when Luke slips out of the apartment near one o'clock in the morning.
Luke accepted the darkness that seemed to seep into his heart and mind that kept him awake at night. It wasn't anything new to him. The words swirling around in his head that cut into him like knive. The darkness that was slowly taking up the once-happy boy. The chilled November air seeped into his core as Luke mindlessly sat at a bench and looked at his hands. These hands had done many a things in their eighteen years of existing. Strumming, scratching, pulling, tugging, holding. Holding a camera, a blade, a cigarette. Guilty pleasures and harmful demons. Luke swallowed thickly amd traced over the welps on his wrists. His wrists were one of the only places on his body that weren't covered in ink. His wrists and his thighs. These two places both had their own ink in a slightly different color though.
Scarlett.
Luke was depressed - plain and simple. He'd taken anti-depressants when he was younger - fifteen until he was seventeen - but they made him more prone to anxiety attacks. So, instead of taking the pills, he dragged a blade accross his skin. Sometimes or feel something other times to punish himself.
Punish himself for being weird. Clingy. Ugly. Fat. Gay. Stupid.
Pretty much anything he could blame againsed himself he did. No one suspected anything. Luke laughed when he needed to and smiled when it was nesessary. Everything was forced and Luke was just tired. He was tired of faking everything and just wanted out. There was one light at the tunnel for Luke.
He had flowers in his hair and bright hazel eyes.
Luke felt different around him. He wasn't happy - Luke wasn't sure he could be happy anymore - but it definitely wasn't his normal dreary self. Relaxed maybe. At ease. His sunshiny personality was perfect for Lukes' cloudy one. Even now while walking through the streets of New York, his hazel eyes and bubbly laugh brought a smile to Luke's face. It was small but it was there
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This was supposed to be immensely longer and I apologize that it's not.
This fic wasn't supposed to be depressing either but whoops.
Wow then
Luke man
Making me sad :-(
But yeah thanks for all the great comments that made me laugh! They were great oh my goodness.
I have spring break but I'm actually working all week in a national choir think so I probably won't update for a while (that's not new though)
And thanks for 3K+ reads already.
It alsO SUCKS A LOT SORRY
I love you all :-)