This is why I Shouldn't be Allowed on the Internet

Dissecting our Shakespearean Breakfast Club Script

Saturday, June 3, 2017, 4:25 PM

So yesterday my ELA group presented a thing

We were supposed to pick a scene from Romeo and Juliet and pick a theme

One group set it in a coffee shop

One group had their theme be hippies

One group did the death scene

One group did the nurse and Romeo scene and legit copied more than half of their script from SparkNotes

But one of our group members said that we should do it based off of The Breakfast Club

Mind you, AS A JOKE

And then the next day our principal heard about it and said, "I can't wait to see the Shakespearean Breakfast Club!"

So we were all like, "Oh shit, we have to actually DO IT NOW."

So we did

And it was bad

Beyond bad

It was extraordinarily bad

No wait

The ENDING was bad

The parts before that were actually half-decent

So we chose the death scene

And

We procrastinated and ended up making a script for it ONE DAY before we were supposed to present it

We were supposed to present it Thursday

But then a kid in our group got sick so we got to present it Friday

At the end of our script, we were supposed to quote the movie, but just edited the lines to make it fit the play

Y'know what

Here

Here's our horrible, horrible script

Enjoy

I don't feel like typing this disaster so I'm just gonna put pictures here and dissecting it from there

^^ Yes I was Balthasar

I don't know if Balthasar was supposed to be an actual teacher or something, but it seems weird to address a student "dude"

We were so proud of that "I see London, I see France" line

Juliet is sleeping = shE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF

We forgot to bring the fucking Tic Tacs so we temporarily stole some Altoids from a girl in our grade that was in the hallway, who wasn't even in our English class

Nice

I like how this made absolutely no sense, like

Hi kids you're in a school building waIT HOW DID YOU POSSIBLY KILL EACH OTHER

Oh wait no

It doesn't mention Paris

IGNORE THE FUCKING DEAD KID IN THE CLASSROOM

Wait, isn't Paris like 40 or something and Romeo and Juliet are 13?

We totally thought this though I swear

Seppuku??

S E P P U K U ? ? ? ?

WHAT IS HAPPENING

The girl in our group that played Romeo totally botched her lines at the end here

I said my line and then it quickly went downhill from there

She fucking WROTE THE LINE ON HER HAND AND THEN FORGOT THAT SHE DID THAT

Oh well it would've still been bad who am I kidding

When we were writing this—it was on a computer—one of our group members found the actual Breakfast Club script online and he copied and pasted it into our script

Anyway

So there

There's our god awful script