Chasing The Sun

Road Trip

: l o u i s :

" Get up. " Someone whispers, sitting on the bed next to me.

" Wake up. " They whisper more fiercely. I roll over to face away from them.

" Louis Tomlinson get your ass out of bed. " They say, losing their temper slightly. I haven't yet opened my eyes, but I know it's Lilly. She gets angry with me fairly easy.

" Lilly. " I mumble, not wanting to get up.

" We're going on a road trip. Get dressed. Tell me when you're ready. I've already gotten Zayn up and ready, so when you decide to join up we'll be in the kitchen. "

" Ergh. " I groan, dragging my feet out from under the covers and managing to pull myself into some boxers and sweat pants.

I sulk my way into the kitchen.

" G'morning. " Zayn says, his mouth stuffed with pancake.

" Don't talk with your mouth full, hun. That's gross. " Lilly comments, walking across the kitchen with a glass of water in hand.

" What are you having for breakfast? " I ask her.

" I.. already ate.. " She answers, unsure.

" Well, shouldn't you eat something before we leave so you won't be hungry? " I ask.

" I'm not hungry. " She almost yells. She pulls at her sweater and paces the kitchen, biting her lip.

" What's wrong? " I murmur, giving her a hug. I'm trying not to let her make me mad too. If she calms down the rest of the day will be good.

" I can't.. " She starts, but her voice cracks and she breaks down in my arms and suddenly can't support her own weight. So I hold her up while she sobs over my shoulder.

Zayn stands off to the side of us. Looking helplessly at the situation.

When she handles herself I let her go and she wipes her eyes.

" Lilly? "

" Louis. I just don't know.. What to tell you. " She says, her eyes red from crying.

" Well tell me what you know. " I try.

" Insomnia.. Depression.. Anorexia.. " She whispers.

Now I break down. I feel my heart drop from my chest and land in my stomach, or maybe it's in my throat because I can't utter a word.

All I manage is a small whimper..

" Lilly.. " Zayn says with tears in his eyes.

" I don't know what I can do about it. " She says running out of the house and down the street.

I expect she's going back to her apartment.

: l i l l y :

These people.. I love them more than anything.. I love them more than I value my life..

Louis.. Zayn.. Austin.. Aria.. Everyone in my life means something to me. Everyone around me means something to me.

Why do I have to ruin everyone's lives? Why do I do that?

I get all mixed up in my thoughts and I step on my own foot and tumble into the gravel road.

I quickly get up and laugh at myself for being so clumsy. I look down to see my knee is bleeding.. I wipe it off, even though all I did was get blood on my sweater..

I run up to the apartment building and up to my room and open the door to see Austin half asleep on the couch.

" I'm going on a little road trip. Just a short drive. I'll be back by 5:00 at the latest. " I yell into my apartment, sticking my head through the door.

" Okay Lilly! See you then. Have fun I guess. " Austin offers.

" I.. I love you.. " I say before shutting the door and running out to my truck.

I just need to get away for a while. I know just where I'll go. I know I can get away and leave all this here for a while. I'm going to the ocean.

There's a special spot I go to sometimes.

There's an old dock and a beautiful view, all year round.

I start up my truck and head down the road. The roads are fairly busy. Everyone wonders why I have a truck. They all talk about how you can just take a taxi or a city bus or a train, but I would just rather ride in my old truck.

It just smells better and I don't have to ride with some odd stranger driving a taxi.. I don't trust taxi drivers.. odd people..

I look around at all the taxis, it's like a sea of yellow. Surrounding me and suddenly I seem to be drowning. I never liked how big the city was. Living here was always just an escape for me. New York, just a little get away.

Too bad it ended up being a long term thing.

I hear my phone 'ding'. I look down to see a text from Austin.

Austin: I love you.

I smile to myself.

He loves me. I love him. maybe it will all turn out alright..

I pull myself out of the daydream I'm stuck in. I look up and all I see is headlights.

The last thought that crosses my mind..

What if I never see him again?