Fan Reality (BTS/V & Suga fanfiction)

Entry 7

Author's Note:

Before you begin reading, I'd like to inform you that each chapter possesses it's own track (we, of course, do not own any of them). Listening to them as you read would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Shall we re-ignite a fire?

Question is: Can we re-kindle a soul at peace?

Has the soul achieved peace to begin with?

And so, the tough investigation proceeded...

Mona's P.O.V :

Lara leaves the room with a distinct expression of shock on her face.

Challenge accepted Bang PD. Let's see what you've got in-store for me.

I enter the designated room, my head raised, my back straight, and my eyes focused on Bang PD.

Namjoon rummages through a lofty pile of paper, then hands his PD several sheets.

"Please have a seat, Mona" he suggests, as I make my way towards the only empty seat in the room.

"Are you ready?" he spat out again

"Hit me" I reply, as I display a confident smile.

Trying to intimidate me? Like hell you will.

Respect.

"Alright... so I'll start what caught my attention the most..." he begins whilst he skimmed through the papers.

"I've come to hear that you've had an intense history with anger, Mona. Impatience was a rather predominant aspect of your personality. Mona, to be quite frank with you... This worries me. Could you possibly pose a threat to the boys? Are you capable of controlling this monstrous side of you?"

Monstrous?

I wish I could beg the contrary.

But it's all over now. I neutralized the monster long ago.

Namjoon let out a nervous chuckle and elaborated attempting to soften the blow "Well, uhm, what PD-nim is trying to say is that-"

"No no, it's okay" I clutched my fists restraining my fury.

I'm in control.

"You see, Bang PD. Forgive me, but this is when you are incorrect. That monster being a part of who I am is debatable. Initially, I thought of my uncontrollable hostility as but a mere demon I listened to. I aimed to silence it. However-"

"Mona, you attacked people as a child." Bang PD spat fire.

I clutch my fist harder.

I'm in control.

"Go on" cheers Namjoon smiling sweetly.

I cross my legs, smile once again, and proceed "I did. No argument there. As I said I aimed to silence that demon. However, after a series attacks, both physical and verbal, I came realize that I, myself, was my only demon. I allowed that monster to dominate over me. I allowed people's words affect me. I allowed myself to fall, Bang PD. And so, it was simple. A matter of decision. I took the decision of putting that beast to sleep for once and for all. And I did. It's long dead. Thus, the monstrous behavior you spoke of was not an aspect of who I am, but an aspect of weak actions I ignorantly approved of undergoing. I've been anger-free for 5 years now. Trust me when I say, the chances of it returning is highly improbable. And so, I politely advise and simultaneously ask of you: Do not base your judgments on past mistakes, but on resilience and current achievements."

I breathe out, high five-ing myself in my brain. 

"Well said" states Namjoon. Judging by his enthusiastic tone, it could be safe to say that I rocked my answer. Can't end this epic streak now.

"Arigato gozaimasu" I thank him in Japanese.

Yes... in freaking Japanese.

This is when the dweeby side of me surfaces.

I must have forgotten to mention: I have a weird ass brain.

Whenever I'm nervous I spout out random Japanese words.

I was on a role here, for god's sake.

"I meant Thank you" I corrected myself attempting to maintain a straight face.

Both chuckle, exchanging looks of amusement.

I, expectedly, join in with a slight giggle.

"Hmmm... Now that we've got the heat covered. I need you to elaborate on this one. So, through my investigation I concluded that you have a deep fascination with gore. Such an interest usually develops due to certain mental instabilities... I've dug around here and there and found out you're an insomniac. Anything I should be concerned about? And would you be able to abide by our schedules?" questions Bang PD as he taps his index finger harmonizing the taps with every word the last question consists of.

"And most importantly, would you be able to handle yourself during our stay with us?" Namjoon intertwines his fingers with his own, as he reveals a kind yet concerned look.

"You're absolutely right on that point, Mr. Bang. My obsession for horror was a result of my insomnia. No worries though, I've found affective coping strategies, so waking up would be a piece of cake. Well, as a child, 'sleeping like a baby' was a myth to me. I could never get decent sleep. My insomnia was not extreme, yet its effects were significant enough. I occasionally heard voices and saw shadows, but that is nothing to worry about. For, hallucination is a common side-effect of sleep deprivation. I feared them for a short amount of time, and it effected my daily life. I grew afraid of well... everything. Until one night, I decided to embrace it. I began to write about the things that I saw and heard. That's actually how my passion for writing developed as well... From then on, I dreaded them no more. They became a prioritized interest. Once I fought insomnia, and ended it. I fed my fascination with horror stories and whatnot." I explained gesturing my hands professionally.

"I'm passionate about writing as well." adds Namjoon as a sincere smile crept on his face. We had a decent 5 second eye contact, until Bang PD spoke up once again. My first clutched once again, fighting my inclination to banging my fists on the table.

"Well then... Next up we've got the reason behind you coming to Korea. I can clearly see that it's not for touristic reasons, or anything simple for that matter. Why are you here, Mona? What are you running away from?"

"I came here for a taste liberty, independence, and well... happiness. I ran away from restraint, you could say. I escaped the limits my home country forcefully set out for me." I answered as my voice calmed from strict to emotional.

"Could you elaborate on the happiness part, please" asks Namjoon resting his head on his left knuckle, with it's corresponding left elbow lying on the table.

"Like I said, I felt limited. My family constantly treated me as a child, despite my age. I currently legally and mentally categorize as an adult. I deserve freedom. I couldn't leave the house... Barely did. I could not walk the path I desired. Over there, I am damned to a grey life. And that's the last thing I want. I mean, don't get caught up in other people's dreams, right?" I quote as I looked over at Namjoon expecting a reaction.

He chuckled putting his hand over his mouth, then said "That's right".

"Thank you for joining us today, Mona" says Bang PD as both him and Namjoon stand up.

I followed suit as I mentioned it being my pleasure.

As soon as I left the room I felt my chest tighten.

I'm in control.

You really were.