Hiding from the Alpha

The Day After

Riley's POV💫

The day after was the worst.

After the sun had risen I could hear people begin to frequent the halls on the way to breakfast or to work. I sat, wallowing in my self pity, for most of the day. Listening to the sound of shoes and feet clicking against the hardwood floors in the hallway. Kids laughing and playing outside in the sun. People speaking in rooms above and below my own. And at that moment I couldn't bring myself to think about my own life and the daunting decision I need to make.

The last thing I want to be thinking about is only thing that can't ever seem to leave my mind. His pitch black hair and his sparkling green eyes haunt my mind. His tall muscular figure and the smile I've rarely seen are plastered behind my eyelids every time I close my eyes. I can't shake off the heavy feeling that weighs down my body when he's far away from me. I hate it. I hate how reliant I am on his presence, I hate how useless I feel without his touch, and I hate knowing that I'm the one preventing it.

I can't stand to sit in this dreaded room for any longer. I feel like I'm going insane, locking myself between these four walls when all I can think about is just outside them.

I finally drag myself off of the floor and into the connected bathroom for a shower. I attempt to wash off my terrible mood, but to no avail. I dry off and get dressed before making a b-line for the pack hospital. If I'm going to start working I might as well start now. I desperately needed something to consume my attention. I need a distraction and doing the job that I've trained myself to do for my entire disguised life seemed like a good option.

I walked in and it seems like the staff already knew what I was there for. Thankfully, no questions were asked and I didn't have to provide any explanation to anyone as to why I was there. I was immediately escorted to a large office, on the top floor of the hospital. There was small metal plate on the door with my name and title engraved on it neatly. I walked in to find my pristine white coat on a hanger as well as a large desk and a view of the pack from the window. I peered out the window and took a look around, soaking in the view as much as possible.

My heart lurched and my breathing stopped as I made eye contact with my mate from across the pack. He stood in what looked like his office window, disheveled and handsome as always. After a long while of eye contact I decided to give him a small nod of thanks for the effort he put in to make me comfortable in the hospital. He returned the nod before turning and walking away from the window. As much as it hurt, I know I deserve it more than anything.

I throw on my white coat and walk out into the hospital, eager to take my mind off of things before I break down again.

Before I know it I am swamped with patients. Rushing from one hospital bed to the next in order to get everything done. At one point I had thought that the hospital at my old pack was busy, but that was nothing compared to the amount of activity here. There isn't a moment to spare; I feel like every time I blink, there's a new task I need to accomplish. As stressful as it is, the ability to keep myself occupied feels like a break. Even though I'm continuously bustling around, it feels like a vacation compared to being left alone constantly thinking about my mate. Although he still plagues my mind, my work here is providing the perfect distraction.

•••

When my shift ends, I feel exhausted but disappointed. The more free time I gain the more I think of him and the more I drive myself mad. I volunteer to stay longer and work another shift, but the other nurses and doctors insist that I've been there for long enough and I need to go home and rest. I take their advice and decide to stop at my office and then go back to the pack house.

As I leave the hospital and head closer and closer to the pack house, I feel the pull being released little by little knowing that I'm getting closer to my mate. This just gets my mind racing again and I grunt in anger. I can't stand the constant need to worry and think about him and everything he is doing. The thought of being without him is driving me insane.

Without thinking, I head in the direction of his office. I can't stand it anymore. I've quickly decided that I'm going to try to make it work out between us, even if it takes compromise and time, I'm willing to try. I hate the burning feeling inside me when I'm away from him, I hate the pull that's always connecting us, and I hate the constant need I feel for him at all times. If being with him will take that all away and we can finally be happy with each other, I'm willing to make that choice.

I feel the sudden nervousness in the pit of my stomach as I approach his office. Words of what I could possibly say to him are all jumbled in my head.

By the time I reach the office door, I hadn't even notice there was another scent inside until after I pulled the door open with force.

Suddenly, the words that were jumbled in my head are all gone now. The excitement and joy to finally reveal my decision to him had slipped away, replacing itself with cold emptiness. The haste in my step was suddenly halted and my muscles were tense and frozen. All of the things I wanted to say were left in my throat, choking me. All because of her.