Lauren Jauregui Imagines

Annoying

"Babe?" I asked quietly, slowly raising my head from her chest and looked at her.

She opened her eyes and stared at me. "Hmm?" she hummed.

"Do you think cockroaches pee?" I asked her.

Lauren stared at me. She looked at the digital clock on our bedstand. It read 2:49 AM. She sighed and looked back at me. "Honestly? I don't think so," she replied.

I pouted. "Hmm. I'll look it up." She nodded and went back to sleep. I took my phone from the bedstand and turned on the wifi. I laid my head back on Lauren's chest and continued with my search for answer to my  cockroach question.

"So it turns out they don't pee. Most insects can't apparently," I said loudly, mostly to myself.

"Oh! Babe, do cockroaches poop?" I asked her.

"Yes, I believe so," she answered sluggishly.

I Googled it. Yes, they poop.

"Omg, Laur, there's different kinds of cockroaches! Whoa!" I exclaim.

Lauren let out a giggle, making me feel the vibrations from her chest. "Baby, it's three am, go back to sleep," she said. She took my phone out of my hands and placed it on the bedstand. I pouted and frowned. She gave me a quick peck and closed my eyes for me. A few minutes later, I open my eyes and poke Lauren's waist.

"Laur, do cockroaches have penises?" I inquired.

"Probably. Go back to sleep, Y/N/N," she said tiredly. She draped her arm around my chest and went back to sleep. A few minutes later, I carried her arm off me and I took my phone back.

After watching a minute video of two cockroaches stuck together, I cringed and turned it off. So apparently, yes they have a penis-ish kind of thing. And they stick together after sex. And they have sex facing away from each other. Imagine doing that. You probably won't be able to do that.

"Lauren," I whispered and poked at her sides. She grumbled out an annoyed 'what'. I smiled and told her the new information I gathered. "Did you know that cockroaches are stuck together after coitus? Like how dogs are stuck together after having sex. Weird. I mean, we don't get stuck together, we cuddle. But maybe hetero people do. Do hetero people keep the penis inside the vagina after sex?" I asked her.

She was slowly waking up during my ramble. When I finished, she was staring at me weirdly but adoringly as well. Weirdo.

"Hey! You've had sex with a guy! Did he keep his penis inside you thing after you did it?" I asked her nonchalantly.

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped and my bluntness. "Y/N, what the fuck?"

"But to answer you question, no. He did not keep his thing in my thing after sex," she answered.

I nodded and gave her a quick kiss before turning off my phone and putting it back on the bedstand. I laid back on Lauren's chest and played with the fabric of her shirt.

"Are you going to sleep now?" Lauren asked me. I nodded and closed my eyes. She leant forward and gave me a kiss on my hair and she laid back down.

About fifteen minutes after she fell asleep, I thought of another question. I poked Lauren's cheek. She let out a long sigh. "What?" she said, annoyed as fuck.

"Do you think French fogs think in French? Wouldn't that be funny? They would just be like, 'Oui, oui, baguette!' whenever their owner comes home with a baguette," I told her.

Lauren looked at me lovingly. "You're so annoying, did you know that?" Lauren said as she played with my hair.

"Yep. You make sure to tell me everyday," I told Lauren. I pushed my self up and gave her a quick but sweet kiss then laid down and cuddled with her, my head snuggled up on her neck.

When the clock read 3:30, I was already tempted to wake Lauren up again and ask her another one of my questions.

"Laur?" I asked quietly.

She groaned and hummed as an answer.

"Do you think sharks have insecurities? Like do they look at this one really pretty shark and think, 'fuck, why am I not as pretty as her?' and then they start hating themselves and start to do self harm by cutting themselves on sharp rocks. Then their mother would be like, 'Shana! Don't hurt yourself!'?" I asked the green eyed Cuban.

"Okay, honestly, Y/N/N, what's up with your brain right now? Where are all these questions coming from? Why are you being extra annoying? And most importantly, why would you name a shark Shana?" Lauren questioned.

"What do you want me to name the shark then, Sharky?" I retorted. "Are we going to name our child Humany?"

"We're going to have a child?" she asked.

"Well, yeah. Aren't we? Because if you don't want one, I'm not going to talk to you for a month," I said. I've always wanted a family. 3 kids to be exact. 2 girls and one boy. Hopefully the boy will come first.

"Oh, no, of course I want a child! I just didn't think you were thinking of that far in the future already," Lauren admitted.

"Well, I see myself marrying you. I see myself spending the rest if my life with you. So of course I see myself having children with you," I said.

"Aww, baby!" Lauren cooed and snuggled up to me. I gave a kiss on the lips and we went to sleep.

--

5:03 AM

"Lauren, what's the difference between left and right?" I asked.

"GO TO SLEEP, Y/N! For fuck's sake," she yelled and mumbled the last part.

I pouted and eventually went to sleep.

--

A/N: my mom is in love with gal gadot