UNCERTAINTY (boyxboy)

FOUR

It has been a couple of weeks since I became introduced to the elite clique of this school and I have to say that I have enjoyed myself immensely. I have also been pleasantly surprised by the way these people have accepted me so quickly into their circle. I suspect though, that with everyone walking on eggshells around Ioan, they tend to not create drama for his benefit. I am not even sure if my friend is aware of it.

Yes, that is what I said, my friend for surely that is what he definitely has quickly become to me. That beautiful soul has somehow done the one thing that no one has been able to, he managed to worm his way into my heart and has become a most trusted confidant in a short amount of time.

The only other person who has managed to get past my defenses is Garreth. He has managed to entangle himself into my heart and this terrifies me. He thinks I do not notice the way he looks at me whenever he tries to sneak glances at me but I do. Hell, most of the time my body feels his gaze before I catch him looking at me. His behavior has made me question his sexuality.

Maybe it could be me and my desire to see him play for my team but I am just not sure. This is not my area of expertise. I only know that my body's reactions to his nearness has left me with some less than functional brain cells. Not having that control makes me feel so out of sorts and I am not used to this at all.

Today is one of the few days that I do not have a lecture at the college so with Ioan having a flexible schedule like myself, he has decided that we need to go to his house to enjoy his pool and simply relax. He discovered that my only form of exercise is swimming. It is not really work for me because I love it. I started as early as six months thanks to my dad whom I believe to be part sea creature.

My father always told me that if I was not as smart as I am, I still could have gone to school on an athletic scholarship. Thankfully we knew early on which road I would be travelling and here I am today with no regrets. I enjoy swimming as one of the most relaxing past times especially when I need to get out of my head from time to time.

This is definitely one of those times but not for the same reasons as in the past. Lately, Garreth has taken so much space in my head that I need a break from it all. It will just be me and Ioan as I think that my perceptive friend felt that I needed for just us to get together.

I am at my locker putting what I do not need away and getting the small duffel bag I brought in for Ioan's house. I have my swimming gear in there and honestly, I am excited to use his pool and just hang out aimlessly with my friend.

I let my parents know where I would be at and they have both been so excited with the friends I have made. Maybe they worried for me and my state of isolation but no more. Enjoying the new company I am in, I have made the decision to open myself up a bit more to other friendships and new experiences.

Spotting my friend happily skipping his way towards my locker while being escorted by his three body guards, he catches sight of me and breaks out into a beautiful and genuine smile. Yeah, I could get used to this.

**********

I am in pure heaven. His pool is decadent to say the least and I feel so in my element under water and whenever it is just Ioan and I, I do not need to be on the defensive. I am open and carefree and so far, he has been the only person to see this side of me.

I decide to come out of the pool and although I may be blind as a bat without my glasses, I feel Ioan's eyes glaze over my body. I know what I look like. I may be a super nerd and even dress the part, but I know what I try to hide from most people.

Swimming has afforded me to keep a lean and very muscular body. Other than my groin area, I have not a single hair on my body and I get this from my mom as she is pretty hairless and smooth as well. Being shorter than most people, one would not think that I would be as well-endowed as I am. Trust me, I am not bragging. I am larger than most guys and I can thank my father for that or so he has told me.

Not wanting to attract the kind of attention I felt I was not ready for, I cloaked myself into the persona I presently embody. Do not get me wrong, I am scary smart and definitely proud of that ability but I know I could have led a different life if I had chosen to cloak myself differently.

I have no regrets except maybe one and now, thanks to Ioan and his gang, I can cross that off my list.

Coming over to my dear friend who holds out a towel for me while trying not to notice my wet body he says, "Come eat. Munchies have just been laid out." I give him a big smile and place my glasses back on my face as I put my shorts on to cover my swim suit.

I check the time and notice that we have been here for at least three hours and I feel so relaxed and restful. I ponder the idea of bringing up the subject of Garreth and these feelings I seem to be having for him to Ioan because I need some advice.

If Garreth is interested in me and since it is clear he has peaked my interest as well, I have been toying with the idea of possibly pursuing him. I do not know. I cannot seem to ever truly get him out of my mind and each day that passes, my feelings become stronger and I am not the type of person to let things sit.

Yes, I kept people at bay as I discovered myself and grew in that knowledge. Now that I have opened myself to all of these new experiences, desire is something I am very interested in exploring and since Garreth has been the only person to peak my interest, I want to explore more with him.

Before I can broach the subject with Ioan, with his next words my skin begins to tingle and the peaceful and restful feeling I was enjoying quickly diminishes. "Hey, I just got a text message from Conner. He and the boys will be here shortly. I guess my man cannot stand to be away from me for too long." He giggles.

I quickly cover my upper body with my over sized shirt and walk over to enjoy the afternoon repast as I try to brace myself for Garreth's arrival.