Tonight is the dinner my mother has spent the better part of two days preparing for. She is so excited and I cannot take that away from her but my nerves are frazzled at the concept of having the object of my desire in my humble home.
I am not worried about any judgements he or any of them could lay upon myself and my family as those are not the kind of people they are or I would not be friends with them at all. I am just truly nervous of being under the same roof as Garreth and I fear I will give my emotions away and until I figure them out, I would prefer to keep them hidden from notice and any possible questions.
I am staring at my reflection hoping that what I have on will suffice. I am still getting used to having friends let alone interact in social gatherings. I am nervous as hell and I do not like this feeling at all. I am suddenly brought out of my cogitation by the raucous at my front door.
I take a deep breath in for courage, and go downstairs just as my father calls out to let me know that my friends have arrived. Please let this go okay. This is the last thought to go through my head before I go to greet my guests.
**********
I am overwhelmed by the vast display of wealth in front of me. It still amazes me that Conner is not some sort of snob. By all accounts he should be. I am sitting quite comfortably on his family's private jet being treated like a prince or someone important.
We are getting ready to take off to his family's private island and I have to admit that I am very excited. I cannot recall ever really taking a break from my end goal and I have to say it feels nice and exciting. I am currently looking out the window and I think back on how our dinner went just a few days ago...
Ryker, the big clown of this group completely charmed his way into my parent's hearts immediately with all of his antics. He never saw our humble surroundings. He only saw us and constantly complimented my mother on her cooking and that one act more than any other put him in my father's good graces.
Conner was greatly respected by my parents for they know the story of how he and Ioan came to be a couple and maybe it started out sad but looking at the both of them when they interact with each other is pure magic. They were meant to be together.
My parents took a great interest in Ioan as they already knew he is pretty much my best friend and he and I are so similar in a lot of ways. They anticipated his presence in my life in the future. I could see the happiness reflected in both of their gazes. In that moment I felt a bit guilty for causing them to worry about me.
Now Garreth, he was a quiet presence in the room. He sat next to me the entire time and even though my mind as well as my body were completely hyper aware of him, I did not feel overwhelmed. I felt comfortable and almost safe.
The little that Garreth did say was mostly random questions like, why was there not a ramp for mom's wheelchair and other questions of that nature. My father answered honestly and let him know that money can only go but so far and that we have made the best with what we have.
All in all, it was one of the best evenings to date but thinking back on the conversation I had with my father after the guys went home, I should have known that maybe I can fool a lot of people, but I cannot hide anything from my father.
As I am preparing for bed, he knocks on my door and lets himself in. "Hey dad. Is everything okay?" My dad says in a serious tone as he sits at my desk, "Albert, I would like for us to have a talk." Confusion clearly written on my face I ask, "What about?"
"I know that you will be going on that fancy spring break trip and I am relieved that your friends are very decent boys." "But..." "Well, son, you and I have never really had THE TALK." Okay, I am pretty sure that by now my entire face is redder than a tomato.
Flustered I say, "I I I do not understand." "Albert, I can see the interest you have in Garreth but I also saw the desire he has for you. I trust you but you are still a guy and I knew that eventually your libido would catch up to." Now he is laughing.
"Why are we having this discussion now?" "You really need to ask. You are getting ready to go away on an adventure in the presence of a man who is very much interested in you as something other than a friend. I know you have no experience. Hell, up until today, I never saw a need to have THE TALK with you but if you do decide that you want to go down THAT road, I just want you to be prepared."
My father, the greatest man in the world. Not once does he even blink at the fact that this SEX talk is about two guys. That is how much he loves me and I could not love him more than in this moment. "Dad, I know the mechanics of well, you know. I do not know if I am ready for THAT but I am ready to try something with him. He is the only person that has ever held any interest to me and after thinking it to death, I have decided to try if he will have me that is."
"Oh Albert, that boy is completely taken with you. Once this trip is over, I want him to come here alone so he and I can get to know each other better. My instincts tell me he is someone I could approve of when it comes to you." He says with a smile on his face.
I get up to give my dad a big hug and say to him, "Do not worry. I have no intentions of becoming a man whore. I will take it at my pace okay." "Okay and if you have any questions or need me for anything all you have to do is ask." "Thanks dad and if I do not say it enough, I love you so much." "Likewise my dear boy, likewise!"
I feel someone's eyes on me and when I look away from the window, I see Garreth sitting right across from me. He stares at me so intensely that I do not think he realizes he is doing it. God but he is a sight to behold and my heart starts beating more erratically.
I stare at him just as intensely and I begin to smile. In that moment he must realize what he was doing as a bit of color hits his cheeks as he returns my smile and warms my soul in the process. We are suddenly brought out of our meditative states by a clearing of a throat.
We both look up and it is the stewardess letting us know to get strapped in as we are getting ready to take off. Now my heart is beating rapidly for an entirely different reason. I am exhilarated to begin my vacation...
YOU ARE READING
UNCERTAINTY (boyxboy)
RomanceI know what am. I know what I see in the mirror. But the first time he gazed into my eyes and I saw myself through his, I became uncertain...