Missed Connections

Missed Connections: Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I haven't talked to Blake or seen Jack in five days, despite both their efforts to contact me. How can I talk to either of them when I'm sort of betraying them both? Speaking to Blake is impossible until I break up with Jack, but I told Jack I'd give him a chance—and whenever we're together, everything else in the world burns away.

That should tell me something, but if Jack is the one, how come I still feel this amazing connection to Blake? When we talk, no one else in the world exists. Our conversations are the weird, amazing ones that are about everything and nothing. They eat up hours of my days, and I can't imagine going the rest of my life not talking to him.

I'm not technically exclusive with either of them, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I'm being torn in half, and neither man is the clear choice. So I need to back off and stay away from both of them until I can give all of myself to one of them. Otherwise, it's not fair to any of us, and I'm no better than my mom.

Every night, I lie awake, tortured with the knowledge that I'm going to hurt someone. I already am hurting someone—I just don't know who I'll say good-bye to.

The bags under my eyes have swelled to epic proportions, and my nerves are shot. I've made pro and con lists for both men. I've had dreams about them both—the few times I've managed to pass out—and I can see a happy future with either of them, each in their own separate ways.

Unfortunately, I have to make a decision—and fast.

But it would be easier if I could split myself in two and be with both of them.

Shit. I realize the phone has been ringing for who knows how long, and I scramble to answer it. "Inner Space, Sarah speaking."

"How much for a butt massage?"

"Pete?"

"You know it."

Paranoia has me throwing a glance over my shoulder to check for hippies or Phyllis, but the coast is clear. "How are you? Where have you been?"

"Oh, I've been around. Not feeling well, blah blah. I'm better now. I'm more interested in what you've been up to, my little seductress."

"Huh?"

"Are you really going to pretend you're not boinking my brother?"

I cringe. "He told you?"

"He didn't have to. He's been way too happy lately, and he's mooned over you for ages. I put two and two together, and he admitted you two had begun seeing each other recently."

Great. Now Pete's going to hate me too when he finds out about Blake. If Blake is the one for me. FML, I don't even know who I want. "Is it cool if I call you later? The other line's ringing." Lie.

"Sure. We've got to do drinks soon and catch up."

"How about you cook me dinner instead?"

"Now that sounds like the Sarah I know, trying to mooch food. Call me later and we'll bang out details. Unless you're too busy banging my—"

"Bye, Pete."

He laughs. "Love you."

I hang up and sag. Great. Now I'm going to have to avoid my best friend as well, or the guilt is going to eat me alive. I literally can't handle one more thing going wrong right now.

As if summoned by a choir of demons, Phyllis strolls into the waiting room and leans against the counter, leaving a shiny forearm print of oil before taking a seat in a chair to do her notes until her client emerges. She discusses homework stretches with her client while I process her credit card. When my part's done, I head to the back to clean up Phyllis's room, which looks like it was hit by a tropical storm.