Star Lord's Star Queen

"Look Ranger Rick I'll Drop Kick You"

To say Xandar is one of my favorite planets would be a totally lie. I mean sure the people are nice, but the thing about nice people is a lot of them are stuck up. So walking through the city looking like a complete geek accompanied by what seemed to be a ravenger wasn't really a wise choice.

We're going to some buyer in which I didn't care really to remember their name. See the thing is I give them junk they give me money. That's it. I literally do nothing else, except annoy Peter but that's just it. I probably should of been paying attention instead of zoning out because I can walk into a wall! More importantly,Peter is that wall..?

Peter chuckled, "Calm it down Stevie Wonder I'll go get your cane!" I lightly punched him in the back. He's so stupid I swear, but god do I love him. "Hey I'll stay out here make sure Yondu doesn't appear out of thin air because fuck logic..?" Peter chuckled and patted my arm then walking inside.

I sat outside on the abnormally normal planet. Like what planet doesn't have crime! Not a single person I've ever seen come from Xandar done something wrong. While I was zoning out into my mind I failed to notice a green woman staring at me. I looked over there and made a funny face at her. By funny face I meant I crossed my eyes and stuck out my tongue. She walked over to me and laughed, "Real mature 'Red the Bull' Now where's your partner?" Oh wow not even one bit respectful. "Look Kermit the frog reject I don't take shit from anybody! Especially people who look like they were just puked on, now listen here, if I was dumb enough to even think about telling you why would I?" The green woman glared at me and went to take a fighting stance.

Just about as I went to throw a punch Peter walked out. "Oh hey Peter!" I waved at him until I felt a fist connect with my jaw. "Oh oh oh. Come again?" I said turning back to the green girl, cracking my jaw in place. Peter ran up behind me out of fear for well this girls poor poor life. "Woah woah calm it down look I just got ripped off I don't need my partner over here losing her crap too" Peter got in between us pushing us away from each other. Then as I thought things couldn't get any worse the green lady reaches into Quill's pocket grabbing the orb.

"Are you kidding me?!" I shout running after her, Peter quickly following. I tackle her to the ground only to be thrown into a sack. "I said grab them both! No not her the guy and her!" I grumbled this was just annoying. I cut my way out of the bag and fell onto the ground to be greeted by the Nova corps. "Oh look they sent in the po pos!" I joked as they started to put hand cuffs on. I faintly could her Peter getting called Star Prince and I yelled, "Call him lord star it's funnier!"

I could hear a faint laugh and a 'Cmon Red not now'. Now here we are being examined by Nova Corps, just my luck. "Red Lawrence raised beside Peter Quill but everything else about her is unknown." I could hear them talking about me so I gave them a show. I stared to do the moon walk singing, 'Come and Get Your Love' "What is she doing?" One of the Nova corps asked. "Hell if I know just ship em of to the Kyln."

So we were shipped off to one of the most secure prisons known. We were walking through the prison probably leading us to our cells when Rocket started talking, "I guess most of Nova Corps wanna uphold the laws, but these ones here, they're corrupt and cruel. But, hey, that's not my problem. I ain't gonna be here long. I've escaped twenty-two prisons, this one's no different. You're lucky the broad showed up, because otherwise, me and Groot would be collecting that bounty right now, and you two would be getting drawn and quartered by Yondu and those Ravagers." 

   "I've had a lot of folks try to kill me over the years. I ain't about to be brought down by a tree and a talking raccoon" I looked over at Peter and glared. "Look Lord Star your ass would of been captured years ago if I wasn't here" Peter looked at me and yelled, "It's Star Lord!" At least I'm not an energy drink RED BULL!" I looked over at him and glared. "Can it star boy." "Hey hey hey more importantly what's a raccoon?" Rocket budded in. " 'What's a raccoon' are you stupid?"

   "Ain't no thing like me but me!" Rocket exclaimed. "So this orb what's to special does it have tic tacs or something?" Oh I must of forgot to mention I learned all these people's names by reading their minds. Weird thing though when I was reading through their minds I accidentally read Quill's. Let's just say it wasn't family friendly. "I am Groot." This tree thing is getting on my nerves, this is all the tree has said even inside his mind all he thinks is 'I am Groot'. "Yeah you said that." Peter grumbled as we walked towards our cells. "So the orb..?" I asked yet again. Gamora is really pissing me off. "I have no word for honor less thieves." Rocket looked glared at her. " Yeah, I know who you are. Anyone who's anyone knows who you are." 

  "Yeah we know who you are!" Peter agreed then turned to Groot, "Who is she?" I laughed at the scene. "I am Groot." I looked over at the two of them, "Yeah you said that." I grumbled looking over at Gamora. "I wasn't retrieving the orb for Ronan, I was betraying him. I had an agreement to sell it to a third party." I glared over at her, "And betraying people, murdering families makes you better than us thieves? Wow your logic is almost as good as an  A'askavariian's looks."

  "I am Groot." Peter was clearly getting annoyed quite quickly I mean his face said it all. "Well, that's just as fascinating as the first eighty-nine times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree, here?" Peter looked over at Rocket obviously pissed off. "Well, he don't know talking good like me and you. So his vocabulistics is limited to "l" and "am" and "Groot." Exclusively in that order." I groaned under my breath. I think we all knew that Groot wasn't going to say anything else cause he's a damn tree.

"Well that's going to wear thin, real fast If I-" Peter looked over to see a blue alien messing with his Walkman listening to Hooked on a Feeling. I went to grab Quill to stop him from going after the guard. "You son of a... Hey! Listen to me, you big blue bastard. Take those headphones off. That's mine, those belong to impound. That tape and that player is mine!" The blue guard went to stun Peter with the shock baton. I instinctively went to go after him only for Rocket to grab me. "Look Ranger Rick I'll drop kick you!" I yelled pulling again. Rocket glared at me, "What good would it do to have both of you in trouble!" I sighed and turned away. Not being able to watch the pain he was in.

   Peter fell to his knees continuing to yell at the guard, "Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede, 1973. That song belongs to me!" Peter was yet again shocked. I can't stand seeing him in pain it just doesn't sit right with me. Then they forced us through the whole decontamination process. Well fuck.