Be My Voice .

MY STORY.

He really tried but no sleep came to him. He tried holding his breath for 8 seconds, tried blinking for a minute but none of them worked. He just couldn't fall asleep but he didn't worry about it. At least he would get to look after the sleeping one of them. Clyde had fallen asleep five hours ago and he was still asleep like a baby. At some point, his breath would hitch and he would cling tightly on Jace's shirt but then would relax. Jace could only listen to him breathing and appreciate the fact that the boy had even managed to fall asleep. If what Jace thought was really what had happened,he would never forgive himself for making him go home late. But then again what kind of parent would do such a ruthless thing to their kid. Jace willed himself to stop thinking such horrible stuff, maybe that was not even what had happened at all and Clyde just had a really bad day. Who was he kidding?  No day had to be that bad that it ended up with casualties from the parents. He glanced at the sleeping boy trying to make out his face in the darkness and ran his hand once again through his soft hair careful not to touch the few bruises on his head. Just how?

His thoughts were interrupted when the said boy suddenly jerked awake and sat up without warning. Upon gaining that sitting position, he winced and groaned in pain. He had forgotten that that was the most painful part of his body. He didn't lie back though, he pushed himself away from Jace wincing in pain and tears falling furiously from his eyes. He was scared and was whimpering something along the lines of not again...please stop..please. That just pained Jace. Clyde thought that he was the one hurting him. He wanted to reach out to him, hug him and assure him that he would never hurt him but once he stretched out his arm towards him, Clyde only pushed himself away which caused him pain due to the movement and so he stopped. He would wait until he saw that he was his best friend. Seconds passed which seemed more like years to Jace with Clyde staring at him in fear but once he had switched on the lights, realisation seemed to settle in Clyde' eyes and he physically relaxed.
"Jace?"
The said boy nodded his head quickly tears forming in his eyes. He went to reach for him but stopped abruptly just in case the other boy needed time to adjust.

"Jace, he...he forced himself on..o..me and," he sobbed wiping away angrily at the tears. He just wanted to be over with it, Jace needed to know, "and the whole time all I wanted was for you to be there...to help me..but..but every time i tried calling out your name..it would turn to...to a scream and...and you couldn't save me."he broke down remembering exactly what had happened. He had been in excruciating pain and he had tried calling out for Jace but all he could do was scream until he almost lost his voice. Then the wretched guy left him their just like trash. He was done with him and didn't need him. Not at that moment anyway. He would be coming back for more like the greedy pig he was.
"It hurts...it hurts so bad Jace I don't know if I can take it anymore...and every time it hurts even worse."
Now Jace was crying. So it really had happened and it was all his fault and second, he wasn't there to save him. What was all this really?  He had never meant for any of it, heck all he had ever wanted was to be his friend.

"Jace I hope you know that none of this  is on you," Clyde spoke up once his crying had eased. He had seen the look on Jace's face which only said that the guy was blaming himself. He had buried his face in his hands and had refused to look at Clyde. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Jace was supposed to be the one comforting him.
"Jace, I...i wanted out...out of here and had even started thinking of how I would do it but then....i met you. You occupied my mind with other stuff....happier stuff that made me see that life was worth living for. So don't blame yourself for anything....in any case, you saved me."
Jace looked up when he heard this and his heart beat even harder. His best friend had been suicidal. He instinctively held out a hand to him and Clyde took it on both of his and took it to his chest holding on tightly. He was holding Jace just fine without getting scared. He smiled at this.
"You know I've always been afraid of people touching me. I felt as if they were trying to assault me."