NOYADE

Disappointments

He shoved me back hard on the bed and kissed me . It was so intense , i was freezing and burning at the same time . I was on fire clutching on his shirt , his icy cold hands went down under my shirt and I gasped , shivering , my heart beating to death and he kissed me harder .

No I don't want this I need to let go ..

I made a strangled sound , feeling like i was trying to pull apart.

' You are trembling '. Musa whispered withdrawing his hands from underneath my shirt .

Embarassed I had no idea what to say I chose to stay silent .

'Have you ever been with someone before Sarah ' ? .

' Umm no ' . I finally spoke blushing .

'Then i promise to wait until you're sure about what you want ' .

' I want to go back home Musa ' . I said looking away .

' Okay I'll give you my phone you can talk to bazil ' . He spoke looking away .

'Thankyou '. I said then shifted on my right side to get some sleep . It's been a hell of a day .

I could clearly see the hurt in his eyes . Does he really like me ? , do I really want to go back . The way he's treating me these days makes me want to respect him more while now what i need is an excuse to go back home .

Why does he think I want to go back to bazil , when all i want is to meet my mother . I want to..maybe stay with him . Me and bazil were bestfriends and we were getting married but I never felt anything like this with him .

Musa makes me feel special , does he feel the same .What if I tell him I just want to talk to my mother and tell her I'm happy with him , while he doesn't want me this way . I don't want to make a fool of my self infront of him .

Unable to sleep I was changing sides , still figuring out how to tell him I want...him not Bazil . It's been two hours since he went outside the room and he's still not here . Does he have a girlfriend , the thought of him having a girlfriend makes me jealous . He's always on his phone maybe he does .

Maybe I should tell him how I feel about him
Stop acting as if you're desperate Sarah , he has a girlfriend .
And here my subconscious hits me like a bullet again .

Musa's POV

Even in her simple pj's she looked so pretty , so ..hot . Do i really love this pretty girl with rosy cheeks . I love the way her cheeks are so pink and when she blush they turn red . Why is she so pretty . I thought to myself while I stand infront of her while she ignored me burying her pretty face in the book .

'You're studying and then you call me a nerd ' .
She looked up at me and damm those eyes , I couldn't resist and brought my lips to meet hers . I kissed her again and again , each kiss so deep and intense . I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against me . I couldn't control and pressed against her she let out a low moan .

Damm this girl drives me crazy .

My hands move lightly under her shirt feeling her soft smooth skin when she trembled , as if she's forced into this.

'You're trembling ' . I whispered pulling away .

When she didn't reply I continued .
'You've not been with anyone before Sarah ? .

'Umm no' . She said blushing

Damm this girl , this made me respect her even more . I have been the only man who saw her this way .

'Then i promise to wait until you're sure about what you want ' . I told her .

'I want to go home '. She said making my heart ache .

I knew she loved Bazil . I'm just forcing her into this mess...my mess .
Fuck it , I love her and I've never loved anyone before , and it's scary damn it .

Why did i even ask her to talk to his so called lover . Im her husband I should be the only one in her life now .

Apart of me wants to stop her from going but it's her life I can't force her to stay with me .She loves him . All I do is take advantage of her in a moment of my own weakness . This will not happen again .She deserves to be treated well . I sighed .

I came back into the room at three am when I was surprised to see Sarah still awake .

'You're still awake ? ' ..I asked her

'Yeah can't sleep , I need to talk to you . She bit her lip .

Damn why does she have to bite her lip .

'Sure what is it about ?.'

' Musa umm I want to meet my mother , it wasn't about bazil ' . She said looking away .

' It's fine if you want to talk to bazil Sarah , go ahead here's my phone you can call him . ' I shrugged as if i don't care though i wanted to kill that bastard .

She didn't say anything and she seemed dissapointed .
I wish she loved me like i love her . Things would have been much easier .

'Go ahead call him , just tell him to avoid bringing in the police since my dad has no clue about this phone call ' . I said rudely .

She opened her mouth to say something but said nothing . She took my phone and dailed a number . I could see her face lit up .She looks so pretty when she smiles . I can stare her forever if she's so lit everyday .

She dailed it a few more times when noone seemed to pick up she sighed in defeat , handing me my phone back .

'Hey listen up Sarah , he's going to pick up don't worry ' . I squeezed her hand reassuring her .

'I'm sorry I threw your phone in the aquarium ' . She gave me a small tired smile and hugged me .

Wait , how can i resist if this beautiful girl just don't stop surprising me like this .

It was 4:00 am and sarah seemed really uncomfortable . She tossed and turned on the bed as if she was waiting .

'Musa can I call again from your phone ? ' . She asked me in a requesting tone .

'Yeah sure ' . I gave her my phone

She dailed the number a few times like before but noone picked up again .

She jumped in excitement when she saw my phone ringing in her hands , she immedietly answered it saying 'Hello mum i missed you with tears rolling down her pink cheeks ' .

'What who is it ' ..I saw her face turn into a frown , she seemed shocked and pained at the same time when the phone fell down from her hands .

She broke down bawling saying ' No this can't be true it's all my fault ' .

I rushed to her asking what happened when she was in a state of shock , it seemed as if her legs paralysed , her eyes wide . I could sense something was wrong .

'My mum..she's ..he said she died ' . Is all she said and fainted .

Hey guys don't forget to vote and comment your feedback :)