The Trip ( A Mashley Fan-Fiction )

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Mitch's POV

I picked up some of my dirty clothes lying around my room tossing them into the hamper I had in my room. I spent half of the day cleaning, Ashley was flying in tonight around midnight. Everything had to be somewhat clean.

Walking into my bathroom I gathered up the pills laying in the sink pouring them back into the bottle. I reached down into the garbage pulling out my blade, turning on the facet I washed the blade off before drying it and tossing it back into the pill bottle.

Nobody will ever check there.

Grabbing the lid I twisted it back into the bottle. I sighed looking at myself in the mirror I felt like shit, I felt useless, worthless, and I didn't want to live anymore.

I was extremely nervous for Ashley to visit tonight, I haven't felt this way since Sara.

In case you didn't know Sara was my first girlfriend and first love, Jerome first introduced me to her when we were fifteen. She had brown hair and the prettiest blue green eyes, she also had a big booty. Jerome always said she was my cure for depression and cutting, that was until she saw the dark side of me.

• • • Flashback • • •

Trigger warning!

"I love you." I said opening my eyes to look at Sara's long brown hair. Sara and I laid on my full sized bed, her medium size sat on my waist.

"You’re too skinny Mitch." Sara mumbled as I watched her run her small fingers over the right side of my rib cage.

"I've been eating a lot lately." I said grabbing both of her hands as her blue green eyes studied me.

"You always eat though don't you?" She pushed our hands up against my chest. Letting go of her hands I pushed myself up to rest my back up against my wall, she adjusted her position to sit sideways on my lap.

We've been dating for over a year and I still haven't told her I had a problem with eating. . . And cutting and that I have major depression.

"Sometimes I'm not hungry." I wrapped my right arm around her waist.

"Do you still have trouble eating?" I could feel her eyes judging me.

Don't tell her! My voices yelled inside my head.

"No." She looked down studying my boney body, I shivered feeling her run her fingers over my hipbones.

"You okay Mitch?" Sara said looking down at my hipbones.

"Mitch . . ." I felt my mind drift away from her listening to all the voices inside my head.

She found them, she found them, she's going to think your suicidal she's going to think you’re a depressed piece of shit. The voices yelled louder.

"Mitch!" Sara said grabbing my face with both of her hands. I snapped out of my thoughts looking at her face, she had tears streaming out of her beautiful blue green eyes and down her face.

"Mitch, why do you do this to yourself?" She ran her fingers over my hipbones which held my cuts.

"I get sad and this helps release pain." I wiped away some tears with my thumbs looking at her.

"How is cutting yourself going to benefit you?" Her tears stopped as her voice got louder.

"I haven't cut in over five months Sara, I promise I'm done." She pulled herself off of me as I felt my head start to pound with negative thoughts and voices.