Being Normal is Overrated

DRAMA

A bird woke me up.

Anyways, I have a tendency to envision my life as one of those TV dramas where the story takes place at least a hundred years ago and everyone talks in British accents and there is intense violin music. Yeah, I'm exaggerating a little, but that's the point.

But there has been a lot of drama in my life lately.

Mainly friends arguing. So I don’t use their real names, I am going to call them

Friend 1
Friend A
Friend Alpha
Friend Mercury
Friend Do (as in Do Re Mi Fa Sol La Ti Do)

(If you go to my school and are in drama club, you will know what I am doing here)

But basically it all started when Friends Alpha and Mercury both went away for a while. When they came back, Friend Alpha was mad at Friend A because they thought Friend A was ignoring them.

Let me say now how agonizing it is being stuck between two friends arguing. You kind of have to choose a side, otherwise you're stuck in the middle with no one with you.

A good metaphor for this is leaving the choir room to go to your next class. You and a friend are about to leave the room, but then you want to wait for another friend. The first one is waiting for you, but then they give up and walk away. In an effort to catch up, you hesitantly walk away, leaving the other friend in the choir room. When they leave, you're walking alone in the middle. Both friends are mad at each other, so it doesn't feel right to choose a side. You try to be on both sides, but you wish they would just resolve the conflict because you don't know how long you can keep up being on both sides.

Back to the story. Then Friend A and Friend Alpha kind of did start ignoring each other because they were mad at each other. But the next day Friend Alpha apologized, and it was better. For a little while.

Later, Friend Alpha was mad at Friend A again, for pretty much the same reason, but not so mad to ignore her. I don’t remember this part as much, so I don’t know how long it lasted. Probably until I sprained my ankle.

Throughout the year, different friends started sitting at a different table at lunch. I still sat at the original table because I knew that someone thought the people sitting at the other table were traitors.

Friend A and I got an invitation to a birthday party. This was the only time that one of my friends has been mad at me. The birthday party was on the same day as Friend Alpha and Mercury's birthday. I had thought they were not planning anything, or I obviously would have chosen theirs over the other one. At first, it seemed like Friend Alpha did not mind, was just a little disappointed but understood. Friend Mercury didn't know yet.

After recess, Friend Alpha yelled at Friend A and I. I was confused. I saw Friend A telling Friend Mercury, and Friend Mercury seemed sad but not mad.

All throughout the day I was worrying about how long Friend Alpha would stay mad at me. I tried to find them and talk to them but they walked away. During choir class (Friend A, Alpha, and 1 are all in that class with me) Friend Alpha would not talk to us.

Luckily, Friend Alpha sort of forgave us through texting. The next day they were perfectly normal toward us. But that helped me recognize my worst fear.

You know that boggart thing from Harry Potter? Yeah, I have been trying to figure out what it would turn into for me. I thought at first it would be an uncurable disease, such as cancer. Then I thought it would be having no friends, because even if I did get an uncurable disease, my friends would be there to help me through it, and I would do the same for them. But then I figured it out: my worst fear is all of my friends- all of them- being mad at me for something I didn't do. And me not being able to convince them that I didn't do it.