Die to Live

Chapter 5: "The past"

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Btw, this story is written in zigzag mode, so you probably don't understand exactly what's going on, but I promise you will very soon. 

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"Oh, I'm a mess right now. Inside out.
Searching for a Sweet surrender, but this is not the end. I can't work it out. How.Going through the motions, going trough us...."

I'm a mess by Ed Sheeran

I was singing out loud. But not really listening to the words. My mind was a bit occupied. For some reason, everyone was staring at me as I walked. I stopped singing as I noticed this, and turned the music off but kept my headphones on.

"Were they staring at me because of my weight?" I asked to myself. "Nah...I have been like this forever." I told myself. "Is it my clothing?" I looked down to check for a stain mark or hole somewhere but everything was okay. "Do I have something on ..... Oh..."

Then I remembered..... Brent.

Yesterday, he sweetly decided to send every single student, a video of how the clown that my mom paid for my 10th birthday, called me fat. He even edited it and made a really funny song about it. How nice of him right?

Everyone was murmuring to each other ears and looking at me, showing the video to others in little groups and I even caught some laughing ( covering their mouths thinking I can't see they're laughing).

"It's him!"

"Who is he? I've never seen him before."

"Come on! Look at him! It's impossible not to see him. He blocks the whole view!" Said Jane.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA"

I wanted to run.

In the blink of an eye, my phone was thrown to the ground. The headphones unplugged out of it making the incident more dramatic and calling more people to my attention. I tried to avoid letting it fall, but I was caught off guard. Immediately I kneeled down to pick up my phone, now completely cracked. When I looked up, there he was, pointing and laughing at me with his little puppet group. Oh, and everyone else.

This is the consecutive time he embarrasses me on public. But what could I do? Nothing. I was nothing against him.

I was so, so, so, mad. I've never hated someone so much in my little life and I don't think I can ever experience a hate bigger than this. I wanted to kill him.

I got up and ran as fast as I could not letting anyone see me crying. When I reached the bathroom, as cliché as it sounds, I closed the door, entered a private bathroom, sat on the toilet and grabbed my legs until I couldn't cry anymore.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Incidents like this continued along my school years. "Why didn't you told anyone?" U might ask me. Well, my parents, they were rich, owners of an international chocolate factory. We lived in a gorgeous mansion, unknown of course since I had 0 friends but my own self.  As you can imagine, they were almost always attending job issues around the world and I really didn't see them often. I started gaining weight since a very young age, my grades were falling and I just became a nine-year-old angry child. Maria, the servant, and my Nana took care of me when my parents were not there for me. I trusted her a lot and once, I did tell her about it and she advised me to make a party for my birthday and invite him.