Die to Live

Chapter 8: "Stay dead"

Big plot twist is coming! Hope you like it. 🖤

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You know, sometimes I wonder the purpose of my existence, my reason for being, my reasons for moving forward on life, on love. Sometimes I think that life is unfair to me because what I have been able to do is to love, to love with so much passion that the fire becomes the water that sheds my eyes when closing in the solitude and the heat of it burns my skin like a rose dying in the sun. The memories that my heart kept so deeply hidden in its safe, now takes place in the darkest parts of my mind. Once, someone told me, that the process of love is like a rollercoaster, there are ups and downs, screams and smiles, unexpected emotional starts and brakes, those that leave your heart upside down and out of breath. And I guess he was right... but not all of it. The view from the height is always so beautiful, so pleasant, so ... desirable, until you come down from the top. There is only pain, deception, lies, malice ... darkness. Nevertheless, so we were created, human beings, and those are processes that we all have to face at some point in our lives, right? Well, that's what they tell me. But, why is it so difficult for me to understand and accept reality? The sad and cruel reality that love is not for me ... that it never was and the worst part?... Very deep inside I always knew... The dream that I lived in was too beautiful to make me want to wake up. But according to the laws of physics, everything that goes up has to come down, and I, I have had to die to live.

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Time of death... 9:45pm he said... I guess this is it...

My spirit was hovering in the now empty room, where the silence roared against my ears in melody with the machine's whistle connected to my heart. My corpse was rigid, lifeless to rise, rendered by the stains of life and above all of the past. Unfortunately I was defeated by my mistakes and there is no turning back, what's done it's done, right?...

"You know we'll always be proud of you right?" that voice... I've heard it before...

I turned around and my heart froze, my skin jumped and my eyes broke when they met hers... her big brown eyes just like mine, her long straight black hair and that reassuring smile I loved the most. I could not believe my eyes... I forever dreamed of the moment where I would see her again...

"God is this real?"

"Don't you wanna give your mom a hug, Vincent?

"Mom?... Oh my God." I jumped to her warm arms and held her small waist as hard as I could. "Mom, I've missed you so much, you have no idea... I need you so bad please come back to me."

"I'm right here baby, its ok, its ok." She kissed my forehead while my ears absorbed the sound of her calm heartbeat. My tears collected by the soft materials of her cloth. Her touch gave me peace, the peace I haven't had in a while.

"I've never left your side and I never will. You are my biggest treasure Vin, you know that. My love, I don't like to see you like this, stop tormenting yourself so much honey, it's not your fault. Life has given you many blows but you have to learn to handle your actions and make them your armor, not your bullets. You are a brilliant young men with a life ahead to enjoy, full of peace and love. I wish I could've shared more with you in your childhood, forgive me because now I know how much you needed me and I was not there for you. But always carry me in your heart and remember that I love you with all my soul."

"Mom, please..." She held my face with her soft hands.

"Listen to me, no matter what bad things you've done in your past, your heart is pure, do not let anyone or anything hurt you. You know very well what you have to do, I think that it is time you take out of your life what is really contaminating your happiness. I know it hurts, and it's very difficult but remember my words, there is no love more important than your own. There is no one in your head my love, it's front of you and always has been." She rubbed my hair and ran her delicate fingers over my red cheeks, drying my tears.

"What do you mean?" I think I know what she means but I don't think she's right... anyway I guess there's a reason to her words. God, I love the sound or her voice... why did she had to go?... I need her more than ever.

"Oh baby... come here." She hugged me again. "Your mom loves you Vincent." I closed my eyes tight, letting my old tears roll down to her shoulder. "Don't forget about me."

"Mom how can you say t... mom?..." I opened my eyes and... she was gone. I sniffed and held my shirt to dry my tears and noticed the blood stains were gone, I didn't feel pain anymore and the bruises were gone too.

I looked at the ground and noticed that there was a picture on the floor. I got down to pick it up, I took it and looked at it carefully, noticing every detail. It was me when I was born, I looked the dude from Michelin tires, all chubby and cute with my hair pointing to all directions. Haha, I guess some things never change. She had me wrapped in her arms and beside her was my father, watching her while she smiled at the camera. I sighed and gave a strong kiss to her image in the photo. How incredible it is that she no longer exists... not on earth ... but she will always and forever be in my heart.

"I will never forget you mom. I love you too."

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Jane's POV

"Im sorry, we did the best we could..."

"No... no. It's not true, please, tell me it's not true... He's ok. He is going to wake up, I can feel it. He's not dead you have to go back inside... please..."

My own words I could barely hear them, my tears will soon make a sea inside this place.

"I cant explain it but something inside my heart was telling me not to loose hope!..."

"Ms. Moore, we're sorry for your loss, but he suffered from really bad injuries, it's a miracle he was still alive when he arrived."

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"What is that?"

"Doctor Wells ! Doctor Wells ! You need to see this. Hurry!"

The doctor came in quickly, stopped for a few seconds when she opened the door, looked at what was happening and called all the others to enter urgently. In less than a minute, some Nurses came carrying some tubes and equipment wich I dont know what they're for, but I suppose, Vincent was waking up. I could hear the beeping of the machine that monitored Vincent's heart beat going back to its normal pace. I stood in silence, shocked looking at every movement of the doctors, the screen and how the flat line now jumped up and down. When they were done, they told me I was right, that it was a true miracle and gave me the oportunity to go inside. "He wont respond" they told me, "but you can talk to him. I think a familiar voice will do him good."

Still full of tears, fear, shock and relieve I opened the door. The room was empty but felt as heavy as if a mountain just got thrown to my shoulders. He was lying still, frozen, his feet out of the bedspread, in his mouth he had a mask with a terrifying tube that came out of it to give him superficial breathing since he cant take his own... His eyes were closed, bruised, his head completely bandaged and his expression pale, grave almost hard to recognize. His hands were so cold... I imagine his feet must be cold too, so I walked down to cover them with the sheets and they looked so hurt it made my heart as tiny as a seed... I sniffed holding my composure, covered his feet and held his hand again.

"Will you be ok ma'am?"

"Yes, thank you, I just want some time alone with him. It wont take too much."

"It's ok, take as long as you need. I'll be on the counter if you need anything."

"Thank you Miss." she gave me a simpathetic smile, walked out and closed the door. I watched her pass in front of the window and made sure she left. Dried my tears and looked back at him.

"Oh Vincent, you just can't stay dead can you?"...