Ghost Towns In The Ocean ☀︎ Ryden

11 | how to disappear completely

august 6th

- hey there everyone i'm seeing coldplay tonight and i'm super fucking excited i've grown up listening to them and i'm gonna get REAL emo in a couple hours. also big news!! i'm going to sleepaway camp for two weeks without electronics so i won't be posting at all next sunday but i will be home the week after so i'll just miss one week of posting. it'll be okay.

anyways this song is by radiohead and it's really sad and it doesn't fit with this chapter but it's really good and amazing and beautiful so i just threw it in here. also this chapter is basically all about weed so if youve ever wanted to smoke it,, now you know how it all works. (not that i, a god fearing jew, have participated in any activities involving illegal drugs... ;)

━ strobe lights and blown speakers, fireworks and hurricanes; i'm not here. this isn't happening. i'm not here, i'm not here...

Brendon was carving out things over a metal pan borrowed from the kitchen on the floor while Ryan played with the dogs; both of them exchanging laughs and conversation and things that Ryan missed. It felt bad, even, because he felt like he had when William had first shown up. And Brendon was a different person than William, of course, but the atmosphere was exactly the same and Ryan didn't want to feel like he was warming up to anyone anytime soon but Brendon was sitting right there and he was just such a pretty sight that Ryan didn't want to tell him that he was fully unable to form any sort of relationship with him in the near future.

It wasn't the nicest thing to break to anyone. The inability to communicate with them and enjoy their company because, god dammit, Ryan Ross just got attached too easily and was down on his back flat on the floor when Brendon had the audacity to say-

"There's so much I wonder about you." Just a random, pensive, passing thought that he had decided to speak aloud. Ryan was holding Bogart in the air and playing airplane games with him like a baby human while Dottie lay over his stomach. There had been a warm sort of silence in the air, filled enough by Brendon's little curses, the sound of his knife, and the noises Ryan was making at Bogart, but not any conversation.

Not really.

"Like what?" Ryan asked, first to Brendon, and then beamed at Bogart and wiggled his paws around a bit. "Like what, Bogart, huh? Like what?" He said that in a baby voice and missed the glance that Brendon sent over, a sly smiling one that seemed a little too familiar.

"Well, I dunno, like, what's your middle name?" Ryan brought Bogart down so they were face to face and proceeded to kiss his nose. Then he sat up, forcing Dottie to unceremoniously slide off his chest and onto the floor; placing Bogart down next to her.

"If we get to ask each other dumb questions, we at least need to be drunk." Brendon looked a little disbelieving, the last time he had seen Ryan sort of drunk was when they had made the cookies and they had had Crisco problems but Ryan seemed like a ridiculously silly drunk and Brendon didn't want to leave the house again to go to the ABC store and get anything to actually, like, get them drunk. And he was a little confused about the "dumb question" because it was just asking about a middle name, but it was okay. Ryan was a little strange. 

"What about weed, though?" Brendon asked, proving that he was, in his final form, a real hippie. Considering it, Ryan nodded.

"Fine." He watched Brendon fall over the mattress on the floor to reach over and grab a box on the other side of it. "You sleep with this stuff?" He asked, watching Brendon closely as he sat back on the floor, opening the box.

"Gotta keep it safe." He pulled out a little baggie filled with flowers, a neon orange grinder, rolling paper, and a bag of roaches. The supplies were placed in between Ryan and Brendon, the latter of who went to town with the grinder while Ryan watched in confusion.