[[Written By MJ , Forever_212]]
Best Comment gets a dedication <3
NOT EDITED
The doctor opens the door to find me crying on Louis’ shoulder.
“Am I interrupting something?” He asks us.
“No, no, come in.” Louis smiles. I sit up straight on the bed where I am currently sitting, and tidy myself up a bit.
“Well, I have your diagnosis,” the doctor says, shutting the door behind him. Wait, what? My diagnosis?
“Harry, we think you may have a disorder, known as schizophrenia.”
“I have… what?”
“Schizophrenia,” the doctor repeats slowly, like he is talking to a child. “Schitzo-fren-eeya.”
“Oh, ok.” I say, pretending I know what that is.
“Do you know what it is?” Drat, he saw right through me.
“Er… no.”
“Oh, ok, well, it’s a mental…” he searched for the right words. “...Disorder. It means that you may hear things, or see things that others don’t-”
“If this is about Jess, don’t say one more word!” I shout at him. “Why don’t you people understand? Jess is… Jess is…” I don’t know how to finish my sentence. Actually, it’s not that I don’t know, it’s that I can’t. I can’t talk about her. I can’t deal with the pain it causes. My eyes sting as they fill with tears. Maybe, just maybe, I am… just a little… unwell. “Sorry.” I apologise, with a hoarse voice - I shouldn’t have shouted.
“It’s ok. As I was saying, usually, people affected by this have mild delusions or sightings. We think that this may explain the voices you’ve been hearing. We think that these schizophrenic episodes may be caused by the recent… loss of your girlfriend and the grief that it may have caused you to have. So to put an end to this hell that you must be going through, we’re going to give you some treatment. Temporarily, we may have to put you in an home, but only for a short while - just while your medical intake needs to be regulated. I’m sure that you’ll make a speedy recovery - so we don’t need to worry.” He explained, ending in a smile, that just put me off even further.
I don’t want to be put in some nut job house - I’m not crazy. I admit, it has been hard to cope. It’s just some nights, I was just so lonely, then she came back to me, and I wasn’t lonely anymore. Then she had to be taken away from me again, and again, and again. If only… If only I hadn’t had so much to drink that night, and I wasn’t in such a bad mood, she’d probably still be with me. I just didn’t see that car, and then… then it was all over. It hurts me inside to think about it. It’s just my fault. My stupid fault.
The doctor’s explaining to Louis about something to do with CBTs and CMHTs - whatever they are. He must be telling him about my treatment. Thank God I have Louis. I don’t deserve a friend like him. I don’t deserve anything - especially after what I’ve done. He treats me so well, even when I give him shit. I don’t know why I’m so selfish all the time. I never used to be this selfish. If only I’d been a little more caring, then none of this would be happening.
Oh, CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy.
Great, therapy. That’s the last thing I need - some random guy asking me random questions about my life, and my family, and my history, treating me like a freak or something. Well, I have news for you, I’m not some random freak show. I’m not insane, either. I’m just a little... messed up, sometimes. Oh good, the doctor’s leaving. I can finally talk to Louis.
“Lou, I’m not some freak show. I don’t want to be put in a nut job home. Please, don’t let them put me in there.”
“Don’t worry, Harry. I’ve talked to the doctor, and he’s agreed to let you stay with me, for a bit. Either that, or I could stay with you at the home - just for a bit of company.”
“Oh, thank God.” He rubbed my back gently, and smiled at me.
“I knew you wouldn’t like to be dumped in some home. From now on, it’s going to be ok. You’re going to be just fine, Harry. Just fine. This hell... this shit that life’s been giving you, it’s going to end soon. It’s all just a test, and sure enough, it’s going to end. You’re going to be ok again. You’ll see.”
“But… Jess….”
“She wouldn’t want you moping around just ‘cos of her. She would want you to be out there, enjoying life.”
The doctor returned with an needle. I shivered at the sight of it.
“Harry, the doctor’s just going to give you an injection, just to calm you down a bit. You’re going to feel sleepy, and that’s ok. It’s just to give your mind a bit of a break, because at the moment, your body’s in overdrive. You haven’t slept in days, and you need a rest.” Before I could object, the doctor had already stuck a needle in me. I squirm in pain, but it soon dies down. My eyelids become heavy, and I soon fall asleep. I really was tired.
~Hi guys ! :) I want to thank you so much for getting me to 3.3K ! On friday I was at 2.6K and now I have 3.3K WOW ! MJ and I really appreciate it and love each and every one of you. Even the silent readers, I Know we have them ;)
This is a bit short but I really hope you guys like it. If you guys can get this story to 4K I will double update ! I have also started writing a short story called Human :D Please check that out ,and if anyone can make a trailer for MJ and I then that would be greatly appreciated. BTW ,the new cover. Do you guys like it ? @Dollyfish made it so go follow her !
I LOVE YOU GUYS !
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Schizophrenia //h.s/NOT CONTINUTED
Fanfiction'Schizophrenia :Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it hard to: Tell the difference between what is real and not real' This story was written long ago and i never finished writing it. (Explanation in the latest update) so i don't recommend...
