"Tonight be bask in the luxury of the magnificent hotel!" I smiled at Harley who sat grumpily in the car, a frown on her beautiful face.
She sighed.
"What? I promised you the best and you shall have it!"Her eyes lit up and I chuckled to myself turing into a dark alleyway. The buildings were tight together and loomed over the car, like a forest of stone. When we looked up the roofs were so close together that we could only make out a sliver of the blue sky that was mirrored by the tiny stream of light that trickled along the cold stone ground. The alleyway twisted and turned back on itself, first going to the right, then to the left. From where we stopped the car, whether we looked in front or behind, we saw nothing but stone.
She sighed once again.
"So this is the lap of luxury. Gee, I hope our suite has a jacuzzi." The sarcasm was obvious in her sweet voice.
"You can sleep in the car, y'know." I stated simply as we got out of the car and I opened the door to the hotel for her. The door creaked as I did so and dust met my face.
The hotel lobby wasn't the exact definition of classy. It didn't have all the corporate tastes for opulent items with the slightest touch of personality - those little out of sync items would have made decor 'human.' Maybe that was deliberate? There were no flowers, but the ugly shade of grey to compliment the woody hues.
A pen and a notepad was on the rotting away desk.
I scrunched up my face, yeah not the exact definition of luxury...
Harley took the pen in her hand and began to scribble something. I looked over her shoulder and it said 'Mr. and Mrs Monty Banks'.
"Mr. and Mrs Monty Banks." Ugh not those two, "Monty Banks? Really? You're dusting off that old hag?" I pointed to the piece of paper she had written on.
She turned to face me, unbelief placing itself on her features "It's been a loooong night an' my creativity, like my sensayuma, is nil." She rolled her eyes, "What was I supposed ta do, use our real names?"
"Why not?" I leaned forward to take the pen out of her hand and scibbbled out what she had wrote, writing instead 'Howard Utley and Harleen Utley'
"Howard Utley? Who's Howard Utley?" Her high pitched voice managed to go higher than usual.
I smiled at her leaning agains the desk "That's me. That's my real name. Howard Utley. What you didn't know that?" Some comedy could never hurt.
"Seriously?!" She exclaimed taken aback what I had told her. Harley's blue eyes widened as if she just saw her dead family, resembling plates.
"You were my doctor. You read my files." I said casually.
"The files never listed...really? Howard?"
An old man had walked in observing us. He possessed a fringe of grey-white hair around his balding, mottled scalp. He had a wizened face and a back slightly hunched. With each movement there was the creak of old bones. He had the resigned look of one who knows that at his age life has stopped giving and only takes away. "Here you go folks. Finest roomette in the house." He handed us the key to our room.
"And here you are, stout innkeeper." I searched for the wallet that lay around somewhere in my pockets. Finally I had taken it out and took out the credit card that belonged to Howard Utley, "Put everything on my card." Slowly I handed it to the hag.
"Hey, wait a minute! That wallet! You..." Realization finally hit Harley and I was about to burst into another fit of giggles but contained myself.
"Shh." Brining the incident finger to my lips I signaled for her to shush.
"Back at the ceremony! That priest you..." She began to hit me impatiently with her hand on my chest.
"Shhh!"
"Howard Utley my perky patootie!" Her hip connected with mine telling me how excited she was.
"I'll get to that later." I smirked and kissed her forehead tenderly feeling her skin connect to mine.
"Here you go." The old man came back with the credit card in his hands. Chuckling I took it and walked into the elevator that took us to our suite.
**
My tongue stuck out as I impatiently worked on my masterplan, we had to get to basty one way or another!
If we were going to start a family Batman had to be out of the picture, forever. No matter how much I adored that man and how he was the other part of me. The way he kept me alive. I could not allow the bat brat to ruin my life like he always did.
Hearing the door creek open didn't bother me a bit, the familiar sent of cherries entered my nostrils and I grinned to myself continuing to scribble on the piece of paper.
"Dinner's here." She called in a sing-song voice.
"Did you tip the delivery guy?" My eyes were still drawn to the matter at hand.
She had walked round and placed the Chinese food on he table beside me, the aroma making my mouth drool. "If by tip you mean gassed him and tossed him down a manhole? Check."
Giggling to myself I finished off the final touches of my masterplan.
"I. am. Toast." I heard her drop onto the bed, poor baby was exhausted.
"Sit. Let the massage bed I hot-wired sweep you away while we dine. Also, it'll shake out the bedbugs." I chuckled leaving my plan be. Finally, when I looked at her I realized that her dress was no more, she was wearing black booty-shots and a red tank top.
Harley started to bounce up and down on her bottom, her eyes wide and mouth already partly open. She thought I'd give food to her too. When the first spoon entered to my mouth she had this slightly crestfallen look, but then started her celebratory bounce again as the spoon went back to the can full of rice.
It came out with lumps of chicken and she actually clapped her hands, mouth as wide as she could get it without swallowing the whole room. What could I do? In her mouth it went and she clamped her lips around it. So that's how it was, one for me and one for her until it was all gone. I was still hungry and I was missing the chance for some more. It was going be a long night.
"Well, doc, I'll bet you never imagined nights like this back in meds school." Passing the soda to her she gulped it down eagerly.
"You have a gift for understatement." She chuckled
I rolled my eyes and she slapped my chest playfully "Batman, explosions, cops, mayhem...we do have our fun, you and I." Her blue eyes glistened with desire.
"S'pose we do."
I sighed, I'd never thought I'd tell her this "Maybe I'm reeling from the excitement of the evening, or maybe it's the msg from the chicken talking, but I just want to take a minute to let you know how much you mean to me." I cupped her face, my thumbs drawing circles.
"Sweetie you're so cute!" She exclaimed her ocean eyes shining with lust and desire. Her cheeks were tinged with a soft shade of pink as she pressed her lips together to hide the smile forming on her lips.
What did she just call me?!
A/n
Sorry for such a short chapter! But I hope you're enjoying the story nonetheless have a lovely day/evening/night <3 <3
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Madhouse
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] [NEW 52] [BOOK2] Joker and Harley have finally settled in together, but doubt still clouds their crazy minds. Questions are raised that they have never thought of before. The struggle between normal and insanity becomes unbearable as t...
