The Marriage Contest

chapter 22: Moving on to...

Song for the chapter: "Bad Liar" - by Selena Gomez.

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"I just don't understand." Vanessa sniffled and adjusted her position on the floor, now sitting with her back leaned against the sofa for support. She wiped at her running nose and looked up at Eden past her curtain of hair. 

Minutes, possibly hours had passed since Jonah had left and AJ had long since cried himself to sleep. All who remained in the apartment was Vanessa, Eden and the unfamiliar cameraman. 

"What are you talking about?" Vanessa croaked out quietly.

Eden shook her head as though surprised to hear Vanessa answer her. She sighed heavily and moved to sit in front of Vanessa on the carpeted floor.  "I don't understand why you would throw what you had away. Out of all our couples, you and Jonah were the one everyone was rooting for. The one I knew would last."

"You knew from the beginning that I wasn't interested in him."

Eden sighed and reached for Vanessa's hand.  "That may have been true at first but, I know something changed along the way. If that wasn't so, then you wouldn't be sitting here, crying because he left."

Her shoulders stiffened and she yanked her hand to her chest.  "I'm crying because I hurt him. It was never my intention to hurt him."

Eden nodded slowly. "Could I ask you something Vanessa?" She nodded. Eden wrung her fingers and Vanessa noticed that for the first time since meeting the sophisticated and beautiful woman, that she was nervous. After a heavy gulp of breath, Eden looked honestly into Vanessa's eyes and spoke. "Why did you choose the divorce?"

"Because of AJ," she answered quickly.

"But why? AJ loves Jonah, so what reason is there that involves AJ?"

"I've been selfish for the past 8 years and it's about time I stopped. I've kept AJ away from knowing who his father is and I've stopped his father from knowing him. I've only ever put my feelings first. I didn't want AJ and Cole to have a relationship with one another because I resented Cole for leaving me."

Eden frowned. "But didn't Cole choose to not be a part of AJ's life?"

She nodded. "He did, in the beginning at least. After AJ's first birthday, I got a letter from him. He explained how sorry he was and how he had made a mistake walking out on our family. He wanted to be a part of AJ's life. I said no. He kept trying, every year after AJ's birthday, I would get a letter from him."

Vanessa watched as Eden blinked in shock, repeatedly. "You've kept this from AJ?"

She nodded. "And my family."

"Why?"

"I told you, I was selfish. Cole had hurt me and in return, I wanted to hurt him. I can't do that anymore. I see now that my selfish vengeance has resulted in collateral damage and it isn't fair to allow it to happen anymore."

Eden nodded, "I understand. You've kept Cole away from AJ so now you want to make up for it."

"Exactly."

"Then why leave Jonah? What difference would Jonah had made to your plan."

Vanessa turned her head away from Eden's inquisitive and judging eyes. She was quiet for a moment, considering how best to answer Eden's question. As she thought about the question, small moments she had shared with Jonah flashed in her mind and a tear slipped down her cheek. 

"Choosing him makes me selfish."

"How so?"

Turning her head back towards Eden, Vanessa answered honestly. "Because choosing him means choosing love over what is right."